Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

oh canada said:
Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.
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That is so tru too. So, no one size fits all. Kicker perceived I was after the natty and winning back in the day. Why? Because we won....lol. Just having some fun Kicker. In truth, i wanted my dd to be the perceived worse on the team ((smallest at the time)) and work her ass off and always look over her shoulder knowing someone was knocking on her door to take her starting spot. All this development BS was all about business and how to grow club with tier 1, 2 and 3 deep teams of world class potential. I 100% agree you should honor your commitment when possible. The only one who wants a commitment at the beginning of the year is the club....hahahahahaha. However, if the Doc is or was a bad example to young females and lies every time he open his mouth, then it's time to leave and look for and find honesty in a coach. Tad was honest and ethical and did all his recruiting out in the open. He had a knack for talent too. He told me my dd was born to play soccer :) He also knew some girls quit soccer so that's one reason to always keep the goats on their toes and never feel comfortable. Plus, I saw so many coaches put kids on da bench knowing they have no chance when the coach said all these glowing things before the season started to have 20 players x $$$??? plus privates. In return for pay to play, he or she will talk on your behalf to da coaches and da scouts. Better be nice and never question one's behavior or else!!!! My advice, honor your commitment unless coache or Docs lie too much. If big lie, your free to leave anytime you want.
 
oh canada said:
Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.
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If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.
 
Kicker4Life said:
If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.
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Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.
 
Kicker4Life said:
If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.
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Ya ya, sounds all good but some of these Docs were a joke and never honored their word to some girls. I had a friend who gave a two week notice and the boss man told him to f off and grab his stuff and get out. Then another person the following week quit and the same boss man got a mad because they gave no two week notice. If your in sales and top dog and you want to leave, their is no easy way. Owners say give two weeks but I hardly see a company keep their top sales rep around for two weeks. That's for obvious reasons bro.....lol
 
Kicker4Life said:
Yah...screw teaching your kids about commitment. Unless there is a problem (that doesn’t include not winning), you finish what you start.
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oh canada said:
Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.
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Both of these statements have merit. Honoring commitment is an important lesson for children, but the system is "rigged" now in favor of the club. My suggestions:
- No tryouts and no fees collected until all activities from the previous season (playoffs, championship, etc.) are complete
- Have a "cut-off" date somewhere around 1/3 to 1/2 of the season after which a player can not play in the same league/age group combination for another team than one in which they played the most league games. ("Tiebreaker" is their own age group)

I believe a year is a long time to "tie up" a child playing a game that is paid for by their parents. If we were talking about a 3 month Fall season or a 3 month Spring season, I'd feel differently about it.

dad4 mentions another good reason that we shouldn't strictly enforce a year commitment. I'd also ask if the player is expected to be at the club for a year, shouldn't the coach be expected to be there the full year as well? If not, why tie the player to the club for a full year?

Just my two cents.
 
dad4 said:
Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.
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Agreed...refer back to my initial comment
 
dad4 said:
Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.
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We agree Dad of 4. Man, sometimes we agree and sometimes we dont and that' ok. This lie right here is the worse of of lies for those fighting for play time. 5 lucky girls get picked. If your told 23 and you sign up, cool. Not cool if your told 18 and then 20. Two unlucky are not playing. My dd was told one time right before a big game with many scouts that she will sit this one out. Classic. No way I was going to let this guy lie some more. Kicker says to honor the commitment and I say, "see ya." What a waste of time and money for kids who have to play. Not all kids and parents have to play. My kid does. We pay to play in the games, not pay and travel and watch from the bench. Liar lair pants on fire is no more........
 
This is a tough topic if your kid is playing at a small club and has kids leave for the shiny object up the road. They don't go b/c the small club promised 17 and ended up with 23, they go b/c the shiny object up the road has promised more exposure, better competition and higher level training. 2 of those 3 things may be true and it may also mean more time on the bench, more $$$, a "promise" followed simply filling a roster. I'm sympathetic towards the player who has been mislead by a club and wants out but I feel scorn toward the clubs who recruit mid-cycle and "successfully" lure players and then decimate the small team of the small club.

When kids commit, they are not just committing to the club but they are to all their teammates and their teammates to them. And unless the circumstances are damaging (abuse, bullying, false promises), I don't think players should move mid-cycle and I think clubs should be sanctioned severely if/when it happens (have an appeal process so that a player can get out of the commitment if the release can't be granted amicably). I have watched this from a big and small club, I have watched kids who SHOULD move to the larger platform only to find herself playing up a couple of years not because that's the appropriate level but b/c the club needed players and I have seen players move only to sit unless/until the stars need a break. None of them - NONE OF THEM - have landed college offers and in this small sample, their departure really hurt teams in a small club.

I have also seen kids being promised a reasonable roster at an ECNL club only to have more #s than expected. And while there can be a good explanation - a national team player who missed time, the "age of injury", SATs and other weekend commitments - some players felt misled or ended up declining the final offer. If that kid had joined, I think she'd have been in her right to leave (and b/c that would be FROM a big club, the club could certainly absorb the loss).
 
Kicker4Life said:
If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.
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No. You are darn right that I am the consumer. If I’m not getting sufficient value out of what I’m paying for, I will go somewhere that will.

Don’t tell me my kid ever committed to play a full season anywhere. That’s a false assumption. Regardless, I would rephrase to say that I never agreed my child would pass up better opportunities and also endure a miserable 12 months because some daddy wants her to prop up his kid’s (or more likely his) self-esteem.

The irony is that any club that tries to force a kid to do something that is not in their best interest is exactly the type of club they should bail on. If a kid is better served somewhere else, a club should happily let them go. It’s incredibly petty to expect that a 13 year old girl will pass up better opportunities for herself because it benefits you. In fact, claiming that a kid is leaving because she is chasing wins is incredibly disingenuous because, really, you’re the one chasing wins by trying to keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.
 
EOTL said:
No. You are darn right that I am the consumer. If I’m not getting sufficient value out of what I’m paying for, I will go somewhere that will.

Don’t tell me my kid ever committed to play a full season anywhere. That’s a false assumption. Regardless, I would rephrase to say that I never agreed my child would pass up better opportunities and also endure a miserable 12 months because some daddy wants her to prop up his kid’s (or more likely his) self-esteem.

The irony is that any club that tries to force a kid to do something that is not in their best interest is exactly the type of club they should bail on. If a kid is better served somewhere else, a club should happily let them go. It’s incredibly petty to expect that a 13 year old girl will pass up better opportunities for herself because it benefits you. In fact, claiming that a kid is leaving because she is chasing wins is incredibly disingenuous because, really, you’re the one chasing wins by trying to keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.
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I can’t tell if you are agreeing or arguing....like I said, as long as there aren’t other issues that don’t include winning games.

The OP was about a coach who would call to recruit players from other teams. If everything is fine with Coach, roster, environment, etc, you should honor your commitment and not just bail for the perceived greener pastures.
 
EOTL said:
No. You are darn right that I am the consumer. If I’m not getting sufficient value out of what I’m paying for, I will go somewhere that will.

Don’t tell me my kid ever committed to play a full season anywhere. That’s a false assumption. Regardless, I would rephrase to say that I never agreed my child would pass up better opportunities and also endure a miserable 12 months because some daddy wants her to prop up his kid’s (or more likely his) self-esteem.

The irony is that any club that tries to force a kid to do something that is not in their best interest is exactly the type of club they should bail on. If a kid is better served somewhere else, a club should happily let them go. It’s incredibly petty to expect that a 13 year old girl will pass up better opportunities for herself because it benefits you. In fact, claiming that a kid is leaving because she is chasing wins is incredibly disingenuous because, really, you’re the one chasing wins by trying to keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.
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Dang, we agree again. WTH is happening........
 
kickingandscreaming said:
I never heard the 2nd one, but it's great advice.
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I used to live in the past and future. Never in the present. It was how my brain was programmed. It took many disagreements with my wife ((all because of my ego and male rightfulness I had)) and my dd, to let go of my ego. Today, I live for today. I will only make decisions for today. Hard to plan for the future in Cali. I;m very alert and on my toes watching everything. Were all in this together and in some crazy ass times that make club soccer fun.
 
Simisoccerfan said:
Last 15 posts here have gone off on a tangent. This thread is for tips about the college recruiting process, not the youth soccer recruiting process.
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Actually, for you it’s only 12 unless you unblocked me.

It also does relate to college recruiting. The kids we’re talking about are leaving for better opportunity, and that means better college opportunity. Simplifying somewhat, my position is that a kid absolutely should leave a team mid-season if that’s what it takes to improve their recruiting chances. The people on the other side of the argument think the kid should give up that opportunity to help their daughter win a trophy in 2nd or 3rd tier league.
 
EOTL said:
Actually, for you it’s only 12 unless you unblocked me.

It also does relate to college recruiting. The kids we’re talking about are leaving for better opportunity, and that means better college opportunity. Simplifying somewhat, my position is that a kid absolutely should leave a team mid-season if that’s what it takes to improve their recruiting chances. The people on the other side of the argument think the kid should give up that opportunity to help their daughter win a trophy in 2nd or 3rd tier league.
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On a second thought, I agree with you. I was trying to be nice with Simi and after I wrote and hit send, I said what you said but it was in my mind. I now take back my 24 hour ban. Club recruiting is for the ultimate prize, college. The two go hand and hand. These are just Tips from EJ, Kicker, EOTL and a few others. Their just tips too, so dont hate on the tipster.........
 
Kicker4Life said:
I can’t tell if you are agreeing or arguing....like I said, as long as there aren’t other issues that don’t include winning games.

The OP was about a coach who would call to recruit players from other teams. If everything is fine with Coach, roster, environment, etc, you should honor your commitment and not just bail for the perceived greener pastures.
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Agree that coaches shouldn't be recruiting other teams' players mid-season. Desperate, very myopic (gotta win now), and disrespectful to the current team. Makes the existing parents' crazy, territorial. paranoid and clicky. But that's on the coach, not the player. And it's widely known which clubs do this more than others (Blues, Surf), so parents going there should already know what they're getting into. If that's the environment you want from your kids' soccer experience, then bon appetit. And watch your back.

To blame the player/family is one of the themes clubs put out there to make players feel guilty and retain power/control. Just like calling players "club hoppers" even though leagues, clubs, rules, keep changing every year for the past 5 years. Nonsense. We are paying customers. And we're forced to pay 100% upfront 3-6 months prior to a new season beginning. And throughout the year we pay not just with $$ but also time, a lot of time. So yes, just like I will switch to Verizon from ATT before my contract expires if their service sucks, I have no problem with a player moving midseason if the club is jacking them around or their personal situation changes.

Now, if the club is treating the player as promised and the player (more likely parents) are moving midseason primarily in the search of more W's, then that's definitely a sh**ty move by Mom and Dad. So, context is key.
 
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