We did it the old fashion way. I'm serious. Is that bad? Did she ruin her chance of a deal? I was egoistical and full of dreams for her and I thought the phone would ring off the hook yesterday. Bummer. I'm setting my sights now on three official visits and then a big time camera day at signing day her senior. Maybe have three hats on the table and pick one up for the choice? My dd wants to go to college for sure she said. Does she play soccer in college in two years? I hope so but you never know. Good luck to everyone and I hope everyone get's what they want in all this.
Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process
- Thread starter MakeAPlay
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The Outlaw *BANNED*
PREMIER
+
You live in Orange County, Spicoli. Why wouldn't you have already taken your daughter to see every campus between Cal State Northridge and Chula Vista City College? I get that you want to experience team culture but the rest is pretty easy for you.
And don't be the douchebag that reaches for one hat but grabs another like anybody else on the planet gives a shit where you go.
You live in Orange County, Spicoli. Why wouldn't you have already taken your daughter to see every campus between Cal State Northridge and Chula Vista City College? I get that you want to experience team culture but the rest is pretty easy for you.
And don't be the douchebag that reaches for one hat but grabs another like anybody else on the planet gives a shit where you go.
She took a unpaid trip when she was 10 at UCLA and that was a blast. When she ((me and her)) played for the Natty in Texas in 2017 we checked out SMU. Nice campus btw. Plus we got to hear AD from NC share about how Mia became Mia. She also went to look at Duke a few years ago. All and all good experiences.
Back in 7th grade, my kid fixed on one particular school and lo-and behold, they hit her inbox with an email yesterday! I think somewhat generic, but definitely to her specifically, asking for list of showcases she’s attending and updated film.
But all in all, she has a lot to be proud of. A ton of work on the field, and a diligent email campaign started the recruiting on the right foot!
But all in all, she has a lot to be proud of. A ton of work on the field, and a diligent email campaign started the recruiting on the right foot!
gotothebushes
GOLD
That's awesome! one email is better than no email. Good luck on the journey and hope for more emails and phone calls.
My advice, hope is not a strategy. I would not hope that she hears from schools. Help her reach out to a larger number of schools than she may be interested in (getting positive feedback from schools they may not be all that interested in helps keep them motivated when they don’t hear from or are told a coach is not interested in them— and most have at least some schools that they target that don’t return their interest).
I’m not saying this to be a jerk, but you spend a lot of time posting here, and posting here won’t help her get recruited. Schools and coaches want players to show interest in them. Sure, some players can sit back and wait and get the outcome they want, but that is not most. If you keep waiting for calls and emails from coaches, you run a risk of her being disappointed. Instead of ending up disappointed and being a victim to the recruiting process, take the reigns with her and own the process.
It is not that hard, send emails to coaches at schools she is interested in. Ensure her club coach is aligned and will support her if asked by a coach about her fit for the program (where needed, many will contact on players’ behalf). Share graduating year, position(s) played, film, link to her profile, her contact info, gpa, act/sat, etc. There are tons of posts on how to do it. You seem to just want the process to come to you, which may work, but it involves a lot more risk of it not working. If you really want a positive outcome for her (I believe you do), the playbook is there for you to follow. Good luck to her!
Thank you!
Thanks for the advice and I really do appreciate it. This has not been easy the last three years. I don;t think your a jerk either. I love opinions. I came back to the fabulous socal soccer forum in July of last year with a lot of hot air to blow. My dd still just wants to play high level soccer and that's it. I'm just asking for 2020-2021 ECNL and she will have a blast. I, as the paying customer have been the one complaining about how she was treated in the old crappy club system. I won;t go back to how my kid was treated in club bro. The old system sucked for many. My dd and the coach will meet up for lunch someday and chat up whatever those two chat about. I wont be involved, that's for sure. Time is on our side and it always has. If she plays in college the coach will be most important to her, not the school imo. Some, it's all about school and thats ok too. The coach can pick all his recruits now for 2022. No worries. We knew many many 2022s in 8th grade making the decision. Guess what? Never-mind. It's about timing for some and for my dd, I believe the right coach and right time will make that time special when it's the right time. Does that make sense. It's not up to me when she and what she decides, trust me. I only stopped her from emailing coaches when she was in 8th grade because I thought it was overkill and the young girl wasn't ready. Hind sight is 20/20 and I think I made the right call finally in soccer.
dk_b
GOLD
Some advice (based on own experience and speaking with college coaches I know but whose schools were not in the mix for my kid): as hard as it is, try to let your kid lead the process. It's tough when they are young and there will be times when you (i) want to help with an email or (ii) listen in on a call but the coaches want to hear from the player. When they ask, "so what do you want to study in college?", don't worry if your kid sounds like a 15- or 16-year-old if she/he is a 15- or 16-year-old. There is no "right" answer - the coaches are just trying to engage the player. Heck, my daughter made a real blunder (and I nearly jumped through the phone to pull her words back) but the coach laughed because she just did not know any better. It's kinda like when they watch your kid play - all the parents are worried about mistakes and hopeful a coach saw a goal or a save when, in reality, coaches don't expect perfection (even from the elite players - I mean, Messi makes mistakes) and are watching much more than the obvious successes or "failures". The same thing applies when they talk on the phone or in person - unless your kid says, "I'm not interested in your school", or conveys that, it's ok to sit back and listen.
Question for folks that have been down this road before...
if we set aside the super-top YNT 2022 players who I assume would already be getting lots of tangible offers, are coaches focusing first on incoming players for next season? Then, once that dust settles, they get back to fine tuning their 2022 lists? Kinda makes sense but I have no real idea. ‘preciate any input.
if we set aside the super-top YNT 2022 players who I assume would already be getting lots of tangible offers, are coaches focusing first on incoming players for next season? Then, once that dust settles, they get back to fine tuning their 2022 lists? Kinda makes sense but I have no real idea. ‘preciate any input.
My DD is not a YNTer, and she got a few emails yesterday to set up calls. the calls are from schools she’s really made a point of getting in front of over the last two years. She has one on the table that’s basically an offer but she’s waiting to see what comes next.
And i have a question about those initial outreaches, if anyone who’s done this before has insight. If your DD is on a coach’s 12:02 June 15 list, is there some predictability to the scholarship offer that might follow if everything goes right? Is it usually half or full at that point?
dk_b
GOLD
this is really the first year with these rules - the class of 2021 had it for about 6 weeks as Sophs (rule change May 1, 2019 so until that point, they could be visiting, getting offers, etc) so hard to gauge how similar or different it will be. My kid is 2020 so she was recruited under the old rules.
I wish everyone the best through this new process that also has a virus, a budget crunch, job uncertainty and, just a lot going on. I'll be honest, I forgot about June 15th at first and then my heart jumped with excitement for the phone to ring. I waited and waited ((my dd was with her friends)) and no call. Zipo, nada. I then took a look at my phone and it was going through convulsions and I then realized that T-mobile was down for 8 hours and she lost her chance again. No more talking about the past. @dk_b you guys playing for fall? How's it looking?
dk_b
GOLD
I don’t want to hijack the thread but, as of now, I expect there to be some season. Travel will be reduced and the number of games will be fewer. That said, if football is bagged - and the NCAA + power 5s + other schools with football programs as a huge budget item will be doing everything to keep that season - all bets are off for fall sports.
Best hijack ever sir. TY for the help the last year. You have been solid and level headed the last 12 months and you can hijack any thread at anytime.
Simisoccerfan
PREMIER
Also everyone needs to remember that a Scholarship offer is a negiotation. If an offer is made the coach is trying to get your kid for the least amount they can get away with. Advice, don't accept the first offer on the spot. Make sure your kid stays cool and calm and does not tip that it is her dream school and she will go no matter what. Now I don't recommend being a dick about it by playing schools off against each other but if it is the school that your kid is going to choose, there is no harm in politely asking if they can make the offer better.
The Outlaw *BANNED*
PREMIER
Let me play devil's advocate. What about letting the coach know, early in the process, that you aren't totally dependent on a scholarship? I know your kid ended up at her dream school, and I have no idea what that entire process entailed, but having been through it... do you see value in making your kid be an easier "get" for a coach if he knows early that you won't necessarily cost him anything versus a kid that wants to negotiate?
For some players, they might not need any scholarship money, just a fair chance to make the squad and fight for playing time. In fact, since so many have lost jobs this year, their income will be zero or close to that so they will qualify for a very nice financial aid package next year as 2021s. It's going to be a log jam. JC might be a good option to stay close to home and actually play in the game and not sit with 5 classes ((if no ball in the fall)) of players and everyone promised so much because we were living in a different time in America and in club soccer the last 4 years or so. I want soccer to start in the fall and I hope it does. I know good players and even better students and people right now who only want to go to a school and soccer is the door into the campus. They understand the bench and their happy with that. That player can and should get a deal right now. If your player wants to win and be with a healthy winning coach ((wins come in many different shapes at this age)) and the only way to make the right choice is to get to know one another, then be patient and seeks lots of advice from your club soccer coach and if you have HS coach, him or her too.
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dk_b
GOLD
You want your kid to be the buyer as much as possible. For the elite level players, that window is there and it can be short-lived and you want to take advantage as much as possible. For others, being the "buyer" may be exactly as you say, @The Outlaw - telling the coach that scholarship level is not as important as the slot on the team/admission. But I think there's risk in that, too, b/c in some ways it diminishes the type of player you are (either actual or expectation).
I do agree with @Simisoccerfan - it is a negotiation of sorts and telling a young person to keep her/his cool is important but challenging. Even if the offer is a full ride at the dream school, you need to stress that your kid needs a chance to exhale (contrary to what I wrote upthread, I do think it is appropriate for the parent to step in IF it appears the kid is going to say too much in that moment). It should be your kid's choice but if she's/he's receiving big time offers, you need to step in help your child process what it all means.
I have written many times that I am a fan of the new rules, despite my kid committing under the old rules. She committed early and years later as we prepare to see her off, I think it remains the best school for her in many, many ways. But even though I think it has worked out incredibly well, she would have been better-suited to understand the process a year later. She endured a lot of stress going through it and that took me by surprise - "why are you so stressed? This is really positive? You are going to play D1 soccer! These schools want you! Isn't that incredible?" But it was a big burden and she did feel direct pressure from a finalist (which pissed me off but I understood the "why" behind it and given her playing position, despite being a "buyer" player, it was a coach's way of flipping the script). The most important decision of her life to date and one of the most important decisions she will ever make . . . it was my folly to think it would not be stressful (really myopic).
I'm excited for all of your kids and I hope they have opportunities and make choices that are thrilling. And for the ones who may not have their phones ringing off the hook - just use this time to research and learn. Learning = maturity in my mind and that maturity will serve their ultimate decisions really, really well.