You want your kid to be the buyer as much as possible. For the elite level players, that window is there and it can be short-lived and you want to take advantage as much as possible. For others, being the "buyer" may be exactly as you say,
@The Outlaw - telling the coach that scholarship level is not as important as the slot on the team/admission. But I think there's risk in that, too, b/c in some ways it diminishes the type of player you are (either actual or expectation).
I do agree with
@Simisoccerfan - it is a negotiation of sorts and telling a young person to keep her/his cool is important but challenging. Even if the offer is a full ride at the dream school, you need to stress that your kid needs a chance to exhale (contrary to what I wrote upthread, I do think it is appropriate for the parent to step in IF it appears the kid is going to say too much in that moment). It should be your kid's choice but if she's/he's receiving big time offers, you need to step in help your child process what it all means.
I have written many times that I am a fan of the new rules, despite my kid committing under the old rules. She committed early and years later as we prepare to see her off, I think it remains the best school for her in many, many ways. But even though I think it has worked out incredibly well, she would have been better-suited to understand the process a year later. She endured a lot of stress going through it and that took me by surprise - "why are you so stressed? This is really positive? You are going to play D1 soccer! These schools want you! Isn't that incredible?" But it was a big burden and she did feel direct pressure from a finalist (which pissed me off but I understood the "why" behind it and given her playing position, despite being a "buyer" player, it was a coach's way of flipping the script). The most important decision of her life to date and one of the most important decisions she will ever make . . . it was my folly to think it would not be stressful (really myopic).
I'm excited for all of your kids and I hope they have opportunities and make choices that are thrilling. And for the ones who may not have their phones ringing off the hook - just use this time to research and learn. Learning = maturity in my mind and that maturity will serve their ultimate decisions really, really well.
