Advice for a n00b?

O

ortelius

BRONZE
First of all, I’m glad I found this board. I crack up at the snark, wit, sarcasm and been-there-done-that knowledge that is peppered throughout the threads. I’m a total n00b to this scene, so thought I would ask the braintrust for some advice.

A little background on me, I played AYSO and for school in junior high and high school. Parents simply didn’t have $ for club soccer, and I don’t even know if I knew that it was a thing back then. Was never a particularly great player, went off and did other things with my life. Never developed any real passion for the game as a kid. Paid at least some attention to the 94 World Cup, worked in an office with a bunch of euros during the 98 World Cup and discovered I really enjoyed the game and had become pretty bored as a fan of American sports. Started watching PL and CL in the early 2000s and really finally fell in love with the game, have played a bit of pickup over the years blah blah blah.

Fast forward 20 some years and I now have 3 sons. Took my oldest to see a lot of matches (MLS, USMNT etc) when he was a young kid, dragged him to the pub to watch some morning PL matches. He was just never into it. He is a teenager now, and a competitive dinghy sailor and strong rock climber. The middle son aged into youth sports right before the pandemic and through some tough family health issues etc and is now playing catch up with kids his age who have been playing longer, but his sports are baseball and basketball. Lucky me, the youngest one decided he likes the beautiful game.

I have no grand delusions about any of my kids getting college sports scholarships or going pro or even continuing to play sports all their lives. My main goal is to have them learn important life lessons at critical ages through sports. I want them to learn that hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard … every day of the week and twice on Sundays. I want them to learn that it takes discipline and perseverance to get really good at something. I think they need to learn to be competitive and enjoy winning and also to be gracious in defeat and to let it motivate them to work harder. I want them to be team players and learn to work together with others to achieve common goals. I want them to set realistic goals and work toward them diligently.

With that background, my youngest (a young 2017) started playing youth rec soccer this fall season at a club that has a solid history and fields teams from U8 up to U19 in SoCal but does not have field any letter league sides (I think thats what y’all call ECNL, EAL, MLSNext etc?) and doesn’t seem to be all that ambitious in terms of that level of play. Of course they needed coaches for his age and of course I said yes. I spent a lot of time doing my homework, watched a LOT of YouTube, did as many courses as I could find, read books and articles and tried to get as much advice as I could from experienced coaches. I was terrified of psycho parents, but luckily didn’t have any this season. Definitely have some difficult kids … the disinterested ones … the ones who are know-it-alls but aren’t actually any good … the ones who watch too many videos of their favorite player and are good on the ball but have no sense of the game. I also have quite a few kids who have some talent, are very coachable and have very good attitudes. My son is coachable, has a good attitude, but may not actually have that much talent. Practices are fun, I do a lot of 1v1 stuff, have them spend a lot of time doing Rondo to get comfortable passing and receiving, try to set them up into 3v1 etc to learn about width and space and attacking as a team. It’s been an interesting experience to watch them slowly graduate from playing bumblebee ball to holding their shape and passing the ball up field and every so often making nice crosses and scoring. There are some kids who are not great on the ball, but have learned to defend valiantly and have developed an understanding of the game from the back that the ones that play more up front more may not have. I dont have any standout kids who dominate the game. My kid is just having fun, he spends a lot of time with the ball at his feet outside of practice, trying to develop his technical skills, he likes to watch PL and CL highlights with me and we go to a lot of higher level youth games to watch from the sidelines and kick the ball around. Luckily there is a club near by with MLSNext and EAL sides and so we get to see some reasonably high level play up close.

Our rec team won the first few matches by close scorelines, then got blown away by a few teams with big, tall, fast kids that just put the ball in the back of the net over and over before my kids even knew what was happening. In these last weeks, they have actually started to play real soccer and we have won our last few games and it’s really rewarding to see the smiles on their faces and to see the parents stoked. For some reason, I opened my mouth and asked too many questions of the DOC and guess what, I now get to manage the Rec All stars (7v7) in a few tournaments this fall/winter. I guess my son will be on the team by default even though he is far from all star caliber at this point.

So, where do we go from here? I find I enjoy coaching and trying to get the best out of the kids that are assigned to me regardless of their level of talent (I also help coach my son’s baseball teams). It is really satisfying to see the kids develop, learn to express their creativity and to become more than they believe they can be. I think my son may be a bit overwhelmed playing with older, faster, stronger kids in these tournaments and may not get a lot of playing time if Coach Dad is trying to win. I have registered him for Rec again in the spring, but it sounds like a lot of these all-star teams just graduate straight to competitive as a group along with the coach. It looks like this club only fields teams in the lowest flights at this age level. I can see it being beneficial to my son to play with better players, but worry about his confidence. I have taken him to a few futsal classes and he really enjoyed it, wish there were more a little closer to home.

What would folks who have been on this journey longer recommend for me and him? Again, keeping the larger goals in mind.

Thanks in advance!
 
ortelius said:
First of all, I’m glad I found this board. I crack up at the snark, wit, sarcasm and been-there-done-that knowledge that is peppered throughout the threads. I’m a total n00b to this scene, so thought I would ask the braintrust for some advice.

A little background on me, I played AYSO and for school in junior high and high school. Parents simply didn’t have $ for club soccer, and I don’t even know if I knew that it was a thing back then. Was never a particularly great player, went off and did other things with my life. Never developed any real passion for the game as a kid. Paid at least some attention to the 94 World Cup, worked in an office with a bunch of euros during the 98 World Cup and discovered I really enjoyed the game and had become pretty bored as a fan of American sports. Started watching PL and CL in the early 2000s and really finally fell in love with the game, have played a bit of pickup over the years blah blah blah.

Fast forward 20 some years and I now have 3 sons. Took my oldest to see a lot of matches (MLS, USMNT etc) when he was a young kid, dragged him to the pub to watch some morning PL matches. He was just never into it. He is a teenager now, and a competitive dinghy sailor and strong rock climber. The middle son aged into youth sports right before the pandemic and through some tough family health issues etc and is now playing catch up with kids his age who have been playing longer, but his sports are baseball and basketball. Lucky me, the youngest one decided he likes the beautiful game.

I have no grand delusions about any of my kids getting college sports scholarships or going pro or even continuing to play sports all their lives. My main goal is to have them learn important life lessons at critical ages through sports. I want them to learn that hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard … every day of the week and twice on Sundays. I want them to learn that it takes discipline and perseverance to get really good at something. I think they need to learn to be competitive and enjoy winning and also to be gracious in defeat and to let it motivate them to work harder. I want them to be team players and learn to work together with others to achieve common goals. I want them to set realistic goals and work toward them diligently.

With that background, my youngest (a young 2017) started playing youth rec soccer this fall season at a club that has a solid history and fields teams from U8 up to U19 in SoCal but does not have field any letter league sides (I think thats what y’all call ECNL, EAL, MLSNext etc?) and doesn’t seem to be all that ambitious in terms of that level of play. Of course they needed coaches for his age and of course I said yes. I spent a lot of time doing my homework, watched a LOT of YouTube, did as many courses as I could find, read books and articles and tried to get as much advice as I could from experienced coaches. I was terrified of psycho parents, but luckily didn’t have any this season. Definitely have some difficult kids … the disinterested ones … the ones who are know-it-alls but aren’t actually any good … the ones who watch too many videos of their favorite player and are good on the ball but have no sense of the game. I also have quite a few kids who have some talent, are very coachable and have very good attitudes. My son is coachable, has a good attitude, but may not actually have that much talent. Practices are fun, I do a lot of 1v1 stuff, have them spend a lot of time doing Rondo to get comfortable passing and receiving, try to set them up into 3v1 etc to learn about width and space and attacking as a team. It’s been an interesting experience to watch them slowly graduate from playing bumblebee ball to holding their shape and passing the ball up field and every so often making nice crosses and scoring. There are some kids who are not great on the ball, but have learned to defend valiantly and have developed an understanding of the game from the back that the ones that play more up front more may not have. I dont have any standout kids who dominate the game. My kid is just having fun, he spends a lot of time with the ball at his feet outside of practice, trying to develop his technical skills, he likes to watch PL and CL highlights with me and we go to a lot of higher level youth games to watch from the sidelines and kick the ball around. Luckily there is a club near by with MLSNext and EAL sides and so we get to see some reasonably high level play up close.

Our rec team won the first few matches by close scorelines, then got blown away by a few teams with big, tall, fast kids that just put the ball in the back of the net over and over before my kids even knew what was happening. In these last weeks, they have actually started to play real soccer and we have won our last few games and it’s really rewarding to see the smiles on their faces and to see the parents stoked. For some reason, I opened my mouth and asked too many questions of the DOC and guess what, I now get to manage the Rec All stars (7v7) in a few tournaments this fall/winter. I guess my son will be on the team by default even though he is far from all star caliber at this point.

So, where do we go from here? I find I enjoy coaching and trying to get the best out of the kids that are assigned to me regardless of their level of talent (I also help coach my son’s baseball teams). It is really satisfying to see the kids develop, learn to express their creativity and to become more than they believe they can be. I think my son may be a bit overwhelmed playing with older, faster, stronger kids in these tournaments and may not get a lot of playing time if Coach Dad is trying to win. I have registered him for Rec again in the spring, but it sounds like a lot of these all-star teams just graduate straight to competitive as a group along with the coach. It looks like this club only fields teams in the lowest flights at this age level. I can see it being beneficial to my son to play with better players, but worry about his confidence. I have taken him to a few futsal classes and he really enjoyed it, wish there were more a little closer to home.

What would folks who have been on this journey longer recommend for me and him? Again, keeping the larger goals in mind.

Thanks in advance!
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It really depends on what you and your kid want to get out of the experience. It's a bit too early to tell about his athletic prowess but based on your own and your spouses genetics, it seems you have a rough idea. That said, a lot of that can be overcome with some really hard work. But it doesn't seem like your kid is mentally and physically ready for that next step.

A lot of these littles rec programs are just feeder programs for the large clubs to get customers which is why they don't go on beyond the lowest flights at this age level. Here's the key question for you: would your kid be happy doing year round soccer at the expense of anything else (whether other sports, other activities such as science camp or art, and other things like Disneyland weekends or travel)? If so, then it sounds (based on where your kid is both physically and mentally) a lower level introductory club team is right for him-- don't get caught in the rat race that you have to do the highest levels the soonest....those are for the early bloomers....you don't really have to worry about higher levels until really the first and second years letter leagues become available. If the answer is no, find an AYSO program near you....the joy of AYSO core is that it it's a relatively low commitment for kids that aren't sure if soccer is there thing. If you think your kid is going to have serious soccer ambitious, AYSO is not for you, and you want to improve their skills, then futsal is totally the way to go, even if you have to make the commitment of driving (the commitment from you should be commensurate from the kid)...there simply is no better teacher.

It sounds like you are really conflicted but are really lured by the siren song of club soccer because everyone else is doing it. Unless you are sure you and the kiddo are all in, don't do it....both you and he will come out hating it and he at least needs to love it because it's a long marathon of a soccer journey, not a sprint. Good luck to you.
 
Everyone's journey is going to be specific to them, and it is going to more up and down throughout. The only real rule is that it's generally for the kids, and not the parents. If they don't want to be there - forcing them to be there, whether the lowest level of rec or MLS Academy, isn't going to work out for any duration. Our oldest played soccer from U9 on, starting in rec with almost no talent, and worked their way through NPL and becoming a valued member of any team he played with all the way through teen years. Our youngest played comp almost immediately at the youngest age available in our area (liking what his big brother was doing), and has been both the fastest kid on team and top goal scorer, through NPL at its youngest age. While we've never coached, being team manager across quite a few teams and multiple sports has helped organize schedules and logistics that wouldn't be possible otherwise. Our oldest only plays club soccer now when not in season for football or high school soccer, and will likely go back this spring. Our youngest plays year round, but considers soccer his second sport as well. None of this is likely to end with a college scholarship that matters, let alone any ambitions past that, but it certainly keeps them both motivated in a positive direction, and as long as they are enjoying it we will continue to support them.

Good on you for stepping up by coaching, and it sounds like your kids will have a better experience for it. The seriousness and intensity should be somewhat humorous if you step back occasionally and look at the big picture, and keep in mind it is all for them - not us.
 
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! This is exactly why I took the time to post. You are right, I am conflicted. He could just stay at the rec level at this club 2 short seasons a year for many years, and I could probably continue coaching at the rec level right along with him. The biggest issue I see is that just as these kids start to get a sense of the game and begin to improve as a group, the rec season is over and there just aren't that many opportunities for formal practice or games for several more months. He and I will have to start all over with another group of kids in the spring which may include those disinterested ones etc. He likes to play other sports and do other things, but he loves soccer, and its hard to see opportunities for him to just keep practicing and playing year round with the same group of kids and coach without walking straight into the realm of competitive club level soccer and all its associated baggage. I sure as hell don't want to push him straight into higher level club teams where he would quickly be in over his head, but why are these the only options? My friends in europe have their kids on club teams all year round that seem to be pretty low pressure and just give the kids the opportunity to form bonds with their teammates and have a consistent coaching experience all year round.

I guess Ill see how this all-stars experience goes in the next months, if he hates it and gets frustrated because he doesn't get a lot of playing time, I may have screwed the whole thing up. Maybe he likes it and thrives playing with the early bloomers even if he isn't as good as them. He plays up in Baseball and seems to do really well being one of the youngest on the team. We will also try to do some more futsal and see how it goes. I definitely expect the hard work from him if I am driving far for that kind of thing.

Guess I just wish there was a 3rd option, some kind of year round lower pressure thing where he (and I) could find out if this is really what he wants to spend almost every weekend doing.
 
ortelius said:
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! This is exactly why I took the time to post. You are right, I am conflicted. He could just stay at the rec level at this club 2 short seasons a year for many years, and I could probably continue coaching at the rec level right along with him. The biggest issue I see is that just as these kids start to get a sense of the game and begin to improve as a group, the rec season is over and there just aren't that many opportunities for formal practice or games for several more months. He and I will have to start all over with another group of kids in the spring which may include those disinterested ones etc. He likes to play other sports and do other things, but he loves soccer, and its hard to see opportunities for him to just keep practicing and playing year round with the same group of kids and coach without walking straight into the realm of competitive club level soccer and all its associated baggage. I sure as hell don't want to push him straight into higher level club teams where he would quickly be in over his head, but why are these the only options? My friends in europe have their kids on club teams all year round that seem to be pretty low pressure and just give the kids the opportunity to form bonds with their teammates and have a consistent coaching experience all year round.

I guess Ill see how this all-stars experience goes in the next months, if he hates it and gets frustrated because he doesn't get a lot of playing time, I may have screwed the whole thing up. Maybe he likes it and thrives playing with the early bloomers even if he isn't as good as them. He plays up in Baseball and seems to do really well being one of the youngest on the team. We will also try to do some more futsal and see how it goes. I definitely expect the hard work from him if I am driving far for that kind of thing.

Guess I just wish there was a 3rd option, some kind of year round lower pressure thing where he (and I) could find out if this is really what he wants to spend almost every weekend doing.
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That seems to be your main question: is he ready to give up baseball....while you can do both and people have been known to do it, club coaches tend to get really upset if you tell them can't make a game he has baseball. Doesn't sound from what you wrote that he's ready to pick 1 sport.

Here in the US the club system is built to produce college players. In Europe, it's built to produce future pros so you have a handful of players in academies, and everyone else doing tiered rec. We also have the issue that AYSO because of their philosophy refused to tier. They have Extras programs and United, but they can be as intense as club and indeed United is regular club ball.

Another opportunity here in the US is Latino leagues which are usually a longer season than AYSO and includes some tournaments. If you aren't Latino though there is a language and cultural barrier. You also have to really love the game to do it, and can't really take off for baseball.
 
What exactly do you mean by tiered rec? Thats the thing I have found (at this club, maybe different elsewhere), At rec level, there is no differentiation between kids whose parents just want them there and they could care less and the kids who really want to play and get better. I think the club deliberately tries to make the teams as even as possible, which is fine, but there is certainly no tiering. Maybe this is what my friends kids in europe play. They are at clubs which do NOT have professional sides, but there are several teams in each age group and they play other teams in the general area. Looks like maybe SoCal does this from U14 up, but rec for younger ages at this club and others I have looked at only have in house rec leagues with teams made to be very even or competitive level teams in SoCal.

I should note that this club currently only fields 1 single team in Flight 4 for U8 (and looks like usually 2 teams for U9 and up). Whereas some of the clubs near by have one team in each flight for each age group sometimes 2, sometimes up to 6 teams for one age level. Might be that I would just coach a second U8 comp team in flight 4, so having a coach getting upset if my kid wants to skip a game to play baseball may not matter :) This fall season, even at rec level we have had some conflicts with baseball and just made the decision to prioritize soccer over baseball. The baseball coaches are cool with it, its just little league (travel baseball is a whole different can of worms I am just learning about!)

Ill have to ask around about Latino leagues. Certainly some of the clubs in SoCal around are primarily latino and the language used by the coaches and players is spanish, but I haven't found any actual separate leagues. Ill go looking.

Thanks again for the advice.
 
ortelius said:
What exactly do you mean by tiered rec? Thats the thing I have found (at this club, maybe different elsewhere), At rec level, there is no differentiation between kids whose parents just want them there and they could care less and the kids who really want to play and get better. I think the club deliberately tries to make the teams as even as possible, which is fine, but there is certainly no tiering. Maybe this is what my friends kids in europe play. They are at clubs which do NOT have professional sides, but there are several teams in each age group and they play other teams in the general area. Looks like maybe SoCal does this from U14 up, but rec for younger ages at this club and others I have looked at only have in house rec leagues with teams made to be very even or competitive level teams in SoCal.

I should note that this club currently only fields 1 single team in Flight 4 for U8 (and looks like usually 2 teams for U9 and up). Whereas some of the clubs near by have one team in each flight for each age group sometimes 2, sometimes up to 6 teams for one age level. Might be that I would just coach a second U8 comp team in flight 4, so having a coach getting upset if my kid wants to skip a game to play baseball may not matter :) This fall season, even at rec level we have had some conflicts with baseball and just made the decision to prioritize soccer over baseball. The baseball coaches are cool with it, its just little league (travel baseball is a whole different can of worms I am just learning about!)

Ill have to ask around about Latino leagues. Certainly some of the clubs in SoCal around are primarily latino and the language used by the coaches and players is spanish, but I haven't found any actual separate leagues. Ill go looking.

Thanks again for the advice.
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Tiered rec is a European thing. AYSO opposed the idea of tiered rec (at least until they introduced Extras, which itself is somewhat dying, and VIP, which is restricted to the severely handicapped).

If you are in the Val, there are Latino leagues based in Balboa park and Whitsett park...just show up on a Saturday/Sunday and look/ask around. If you don't speak the lingo, though, it won't go very well.

If your kid is unsure of going travel ball, you'll want to avoid going the coaching route. It eventually (maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but soon) will bite you in the ass, especially if your kid gets preferential treatment to skip a game while everyone else has to be there. You have to deal not only with the club politics for your player but club politics and parents for yourself....that's a huge commitment and the biggest risk is that it becomes more important to you than your kid. Be forewarned...parents be crazy and they won't give much rope to a family that they don't believe is all in. If your kid isn't ready to prioritize soccer, then you are just rationalizing and club ball really isn't for him. If you want to coach your kid, definitively stick with AYSO/AYSO All Stars/Extras...it's low enough commitment no one will care.
 
If SoCal is like other areas, you will find almost nothing online about Latino/Hispanic leagues. We play them quite often, and sign up our teams for them for some extra practice (and a more physical game), but standings, game schedules, and everything else that is typically posted online for other leagues just isn't the case for these type of leagues. You will need to ask around, and meet people in real life to be connected to these leagues over time. There are some teams that only play hispanic league, but in most cases they are teams that are also in other leagues, and play that league as well for additional time on the field.
 
Not in LA area, but I pinged a few friends so have some ideas where to look for Latino leagues.

Should have been more clear, I don't have any grand ambitions to coach competitively for longer than maybe 1 year. Not my calling in life to be honest. I could envision coaching a U8 comp team in Flight 4 with my son on it for a year to see if he likes it. None of the games are that far away. Doesn't look like too gnarly a schedule for the teams that do do it, and in the event that soccer and another sport conflicted, he would choose soccer because he may like other sports, but he *loves* soccer. His other coaches would be fine with that. I think he would really enjoy playing more than one game in a weekend, he is always really sad when his games are over on saturdays and asks when the next practice is.

I also get the sense that the club we are at is just not as serious (probably not the right word but I cant find another one) as a lot of the other clubs in the area. I count 16 boys teams from U8 to U19 while the club next door has something like 50 boys teams in SoCal not to mention their EAL and MLSNext teams. So I guess thats what I am weighing up. Have him (and me) try it for a year and see if he likes it, how dedicated he is and how much he improves and then perhaps move on to something more serious after that (or just stick with rec and keep having fun). Hopefully a taste of competitive club level soccer and tournaments against higher level players at this age without the craziness of these more serious clubs (and the psycho parents). I would really just like him to play with the same group of kids for longer than 3 months and have the same coach for that time (even if it his Dad).

Again, appreciate the perspective from all of you.
 
Don't know where you're at in Socal but an easy way to get plugged into everything soccer in your area is to have your kid play futsal + talk to other parents during sessions.

Futsal players tend to come from several different clubs + usually the higher level teams. Just ask around and you'll probably get more youth soccer info then you'll ever want to know. ;-)
 
ortelius said:
Guess I just wish there was a 3rd option, some kind of year round lower pressure thing where he (and I) could find out if this is really what he wants to spend almost every weekend doing.
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If you're willing to prioritize soccer over baseball, which it sounds like you're already doing, then doing club soccer + little league is definitely possible. Both my kids do a club sport plus other sports as well. But we do prioritize their club activities first when there is conflict.

Your son is 6? What do you mean by low pressure? At this age, finding a low pressure club team environment shouldn't be too hard. You'll need to commit to most practices and games, but at age 6, it's still mostly about fun. If commitment for a year, and to attending most practices/games is too high pressure, then club isn't the right thing right now. No one wants to be on a club team with a teammate that is there 50% of the time. That's what rec is for and even when that happens at rec, it's frustrating for a coach. But if you are willing to commit, in return, you get the consistent coaching, continuation of teammates, and are surrounded by (hopefully) similarly committed players and families. And at age 6/7, the pressure beyond that commitment, especially on a flight 4 team, should be minimal.

If that commitment is too much, it might be worth seeing if there is a club in your area offers a "pre-club" option. It could be a good bridge between rec to club.
 
johnny2five said:
If you're willing to prioritize soccer over baseball, which it sounds like you're already doing, then doing club soccer + little league is definitely possible. Both my kids do a club sport plus other sports as well. But we do prioritize their club activities first when there is conflict.

Your son is 6? What do you mean by low pressure? At this age, finding a low pressure club team environment shouldn't be too hard. You'll need to commit to most practices and games, but at age 6, it's still mostly about fun. If commitment for a year, and to attending most practices/games is too high pressure, then club isn't the right thing right now. No one wants to be on a club team with a teammate that is there 50% of the time. That's what rec is for and even when that happens at rec, it's frustrating for a coach. But if you are willing to commit, in return, you get the consistent coaching, continuation of teammates, and are surrounded by (hopefully) similarly committed players and families. And at age 6/7, the pressure beyond that commitment, especially on a flight 4 team, should be minimal.

If that commitment is too much, it might be worth seeing if there is a club in your area offers a "pre-club" option. It could be a good bridge between rec to club.
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100% agree with this. The only caveat is that soccer parents be crazy. You’ll have some moron demanding why am I shelling out $1000+ dollars if we are losing. Or demanding why SoCal isn’t publishing the standings for kids so young. Or wondering why isn’t the coach doing more to improve the team particularly if their kid isn’t the strongest on the team, then complaining to the doc. See a certain other thread. Parents are the worst thing about soccer and regardless of the level you’ll get the craziness, which is why unless someone is ready to be all in, I’d recommend staying away from coaching.
 
@johnny2five What I mean by low pressure is where development is prioritized over results. Where the parents and kids don't completely melt down when the score is a lot to nil. Where the coaches are not so focused on results that they just let the big strong kids dominate the game and yell at the kids when they make mistakes. Attending practices and games is not the issue, my kid melts down when he is sick and has to miss practice when he desperately wants to go. I have just been to a fair number of games at U9/U10 level in flight 1 or 2 where the parents are already completely psycho, yelling at the refs and parents on the other side, where the kids are already so focused on winning that they throw tantrums when things don't go their way or they get subbed off. Unfortunately its hard for me to get to the U8 Flight 4 or 3 matches because they are almost all at the same time as our rec matches, but we do go to see a lot of other matches for just slightly older kids in higher flights and I am horrified at the behavior of the coaches, parents and sadly sometimes the kids. My kid just walks away from these kinds of experiences saying "what is their problem!?" We don't generally see this kind of thing watching EAL or MLSNext level matches even at the youngest age levels in those leagues.
 
@Grace T. you bring up a whole other set of issues that contribute to the kind of "pressure" I am talking about that I don't actually get to see (yet!) and why I approach this whole thing with an extreme sense of trepidation.
 
I think crazy parents exist at all levels and sports. I've seen fist fights amongst coaches at little league games. And ref/ump abuse is a problem in all the sports my kids have been involved in. Soccer is not the exception. I've seen parents follow out refs/umps at baseball, soccer, basketball, flag football games. Unless you form your own team of known families, there will always be a risk of running into crazy parents (and crazy is all relative) in any sport at any level.
 
johnny2five said:
I think crazy parents exist at all levels and sports. I've seen fist fights amongst coaches at little league games. And ref/ump abuse is a problem in all the sports my kids have been involved in. Soccer is not the exception. I've seen parents follow out refs/umps at baseball, soccer, basketball, flag football games. Unless you form your own team of known families, there will always be a risk of running into crazy parents (and crazy is all relative) in any sport at any level.
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Yeah but there's a difference between your kid participating and throwing yourself in there as a coach or referee, particularly if you aren't sure you are 100% all in. With AYSO core you can always walk away...it will suck but still you can and the commitment is just a handful of painful months. With club it's different, in particularly he likely will have to sign a contract and is stuck with it for the limited year season at youngers, even if the situation (through no fault of his own) is either over his head or sucks.
 
@johnny2five I guess its not only about the psycho parents. Yes they exist in every sport at every level, I have seen some crazy things at the little league field even at t-ball level. I guess what I really mean is I want the kid to get to develop as a player and enjoy the game at a "competitive" level (mainly by having the same teammates and coach for a long time) without the hard core focus on results and standings. Can see this split in travel baseball pretty clearly, some teams/clubs are super focused on building better baseball players (and better humans) and some are focused on winning plastic rings every weekend. Maybe there is a middle ground, I guess Ill find out coaching some all stars in a few tournaments with my kid on the roster.
 
@Grace T. what kind of 'contract' does a kid have to sign? Assuming I am not the coach, If I pay the fees and he doesn't like it, and we just walk away, what are the repercussions? If I was going to coach him on a U8 team it would be only after I had coached that exact group of kids as all stars in a few tournaments and was satisfied that the kids had good attitudes and parents were like-minded and not psycho (or I would get rid of the ones that are).
 
Grace T. said:
Yeah but there's a difference between your kid participating and throwing yourself in there as a coach or referee, particularly if you aren't sure you are 100% all in. With AYSO core you can always walk away...it will suck but still you can and the commitment is just a handful of painful months. With club it's different, in particularly he likely will have to sign a contract and is stuck with it for the limited year season at youngers, even if the situation (through no fault of his own) is either over his head or sucks.
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Good points. That's why pre-club might be a better option if available.

Regarding stuck for a year, I think there's pros/cons with that. In club/travel baseball and basketball in Socal, teams typically only require a one season commitment (ie. 3 months). Couple that with the fact that there are so many teams to choose from, and you get alot of players that bounce from one team to another. It's great if you are in a situation you don't like - you can leave after a few months. But it also makes it hard to maintain consistency. It's especially hard when your child is happy with the team and teammates, but for whatever reason, part of the roster turns over every three months. It's a double edged sword.
 
@Carlsbad7 somehow missed your reply up there. I'm in the same area as your handle, so I presume you can figure out which clubs I am talking about :) The only local futsal club/program I know about is the one out at Edenpark, I have some friends whose kids have played there and my son did a few sessions there and totally loved it. Its a bit of a drive to do all the time, but not that bad and its only a few days a week anyway. Do you know of others? Do you know where any Latino leagues play around here (specifically on the coast).

I have several friends whose kids play at a reasonably high level and yes, I do get more info about the youth soccer scene than I really wanted to know sometimes. Many of them have a love/hate relationship with the whole thing, their kids love playing and are quite good, but they say the entire scene is toxic and mainly out to get $ out of your wallet.
 
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