University of Florida Soccer

[Colorado Papa]

To end the speculation here is the story.

I share with genuine desire to shield others from at least one bad actor. I feel somewhat responsible for leading others to the same watering hole.... as we were fooled. It is a minefield out here.

My daughter is a 2023 that joined UF early last spring. Two months into training both of the midfielders they had brought in tore their ACL’s exactly one day apart. My daughter was one of them. She has had a good recovery with no complications at this point, but she is 9 months in and has not been cleared yet. Last week the team started its spring fitness testing and my daughter missed the mark the coach had set on the beep test. The coach pulled my daughter aside and informed her she was off the roster, sighting that she couldn’t let her standards be weakened.

For background, my daughter had earned a starting role per the coach before getting injured. She had some pedigree coming in and she is this coach's recruit. This is not about play time or coaches favorites; it is just about basic human decency. A role on the team must be re- earned and we get it. Being game fit takes well….playing. Spring is a great time to get there. While missing an arbitrary number on the beep test is regrettable, a reprimand and a remediation of lets say a week to retest would be the appropriate level of response. I think that is what you would find throughout college soccer, not considering a recovery off an ACL. In late November when my daughter had her post-season meeting there was no indication that she would not have the opportunity to earn a role on the team or that she should enter the transfer portal because there was no future at UF. It would have been a no-brainer to cut her loses and find a new home.

Once getting hurt my daughter saw just how disposable every player was to this coach. It started at the beginning of the season when all the Nike swag got handed out. The two injured players were not given as much as a T-shirt. They were told they had not earned anything (someone must have thrown a stink because they were given some items a few weeks after) Way to boost moral coach! During the last 9 months the coach did not once ask how my daughter was doing either physically or emotionally. We should have taken those two pieces of information and cut and run in December but my daughter is a fighter and a proven winner, she figured that she could not be ignored once she got back on the field.

Maybe there will be some of you who will see this through the eyes of the coach. “I have to win at any cost!”,” My livelihood is at risk!” “There is no room for the weak!”. "Maybe the coach had to free up some money."

We like to win like the next guy. My daughter never caused one problem for this coach and was loved by her team. She was literally thrown away just as she was about to finish recovery and move towards her full potential. There was only upside down the road. There is no universe where players/people should be treated this way.

My daughter is temporarily defeated but not broken. One week later she is finally able to talk about the reality of her situation and chart the course forward. If you have a kid at this level you know it is everything to them so I stand my statements of unimaginable mental and emotional trauma. Being told you are not good enough or you will never play a team, that she could handle. Having your legs cut out from under you as you are just battling back from an ACL is whole other animal. Probably the most disgusting aspect of how she was handled by this program is that she could have been in the transfer portal right now if there was the least amount of transparency and decency. Instead she is on campus alienated from the one thing she has dedicated her life to.

If this sounds right to you so far then please go on and hate, we share different ideas on justice and moral decency. I believe schools should stand behind their athletes when they are injured in the game.

I hope you find this post useful. It would not be hard to figure out who my daughter is. I would never want my actions to hurt her and her dream but to be silent just seems wrong. I have posted the facts and it is up to God and the Universe to do with it what it will.

 

[pitchplease]

Do Tell. There could be a forum on it. No school is spared. My dd could tell stories for days. recruited and started in the big 12 for two years. toxic for days at the school she left. transferred to sec. coach is more tolerable. still crazy. but not the same crazy as the last. some of the stories from other transfers is nuts. everyone has their own experiences, some are just more memorable...ha!

 

[pitchplease]

I would love to air it out on here but am concerned about crossing any legal boundaries. I will say that there were unforgivable, unethical, and just plain evil acts directed at my daughter and that the transfer portal numbers speak for themselves. I would not wish for anyone to be subject to what people in the program are experiencing right now.

i get it. before my dd transferred out, we had a calendar that we marked the days off. and celebrated. there was always a player , sometimes 2 that this particular coach would target every season. the ones he deemed "weak". Bully antics. my dd had one of those target players as a roommate her freshman year. this player quit and left before winter break. never played again. he literally broke her. it was awful. coach got put on notice. but it never really changed him. it was hard to believe this man had a young daughter. it was the biggest sigh of relief to leave that place. like a boulder lifted off all of our shoulders. all the minutes and scholarship money would never have kept her there. best. decision. ever.

 

[sockma]

If your daughter is being recruited by this program please message me privately so I can help save you and your daughter from unimaginable mental trauma.

Thank you.

 

[crush]

If your daughter is being recruited by this program please message me privately so I can help save you and your daughter from unimaginable mental trauma.

i get it. before my dd transferred out, we had a calendar that we marked the days off. and celebrated. there was always a player , sometimes 2 that this particular coach would target every season. the ones he deemed "weak". Bully antics. my dd had one of those target players as a roommate her freshman year. this player quit and left before winter break. never played again. he literally broke her. it was awful. coach got put on notice. but it never really changed him. it was hard to believe this man had a young daughter. it was the biggest sigh of relief to leave that place. like a boulder lifted off all of our shoulders. all the minutes and scholarship money would never have kept her there. best. decision. ever.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm glad to hear she got out. This is happening way too much around the country. The health and welfare of every dd should be priority #1. I had a dear friend a few years back who had to fly and go be with her dd for 3 months because of severe depression and one mean lady coach who was a bully. I can say she was a bitch 100% and just vindictive. She even tried to recuit my dd early on but we already knew about her true self from our friend. Her dd also quit the program after recovering from severe depression. Coach is still coaching.

 

[fanofdl]

I would love to air it out on here but am concerned about crossing any legal boundaries. I will say that there were unforgivable, unethical, and just plain evil acts directed at my daughter and that the transfer portal numbers speak for themselves. I would not wish for anyone to be subject to what people in the program are experiencing right now.

I don't doubt anything you wrote, but isn't the Florida coach new to the program in the last couple of years? I only see a couple of transfers out this year, which certainly isn't unusual, especially in the first year or two after a new coach takes over.

Why is that abusive coaches in the power 5 (or I guess 4 now) seem to be the norm? Are there really not enough good coaches out there who are also decent humans?

 

[Colorado Papa]

There are more transfers and attempted transfers than there appear right now. In addition the transfers are her recruits. This is not a classic abussive situation rather a total lack of professionalism and basic humanity. I may air it out here but we are still processing our emotions.

 

[crush]

I shared this story back in 2019 but it's worth repeating. One of the top Docs in OC told me straight up about the realities of coming to college as a freshman out of shape. He shared a story about one of his former YNT team players and one of the top players in OC as a 9th grader. She signed early and got full ride to Big U. Most came from soccer but some from good grades. Her senior year of high school was a year to have fun, go to prom with her friends and she kind of took soccer off. Her first day of camp was pure hell. She took that running test that I think is called the Beat you down Test or Beep test and bombed. Actually, she puked halfway through. Lady coach was pissed off because her prized recruit didn't follow her strict orders of things she expected from each player, especially her #1 recruit. She grabbed her by the ponytail as she was puking and told her, "Listen you little __________, if you think you're going to play for me your wrong." She quit that day and still graduated but never played soccer again. How would you handle this young woman if you were coach? Is there a better way to work with the player with humanity and kindness and some mercy? I'm not even saying having a "beat you down test" is wrong, but to use it to bully and make someone feel like shit is not cool. What if the players parents are going through a divorce? What if the player broke up with her boyfriend or girlfriend? What if the player is going through depression? Not all girls are Unicorns and have a happy life or a safe home? Some of these coaches need to learn basic human rights and not treat all girls the same.
Coach crush would not use the beat test to beat someone down and try to run them off. But if I did use a test like that, I would tell her, "Socal girl, welcome to College soccer. Go get some water and take the rest of the day off and we can chat tomorrow." I would pull the team together and tell them the game of soccer takes endurance and we need to be in shape in 30days for our first game. I would tell the player I believe in her and give her another a chance in a week or two to take that stupid test again.

 

[Woobie06]

This is going to be an uncomfortable response and question…

1. Can we agree these coaches are coaching for their jobs, livelihoods, and for their families? They win, they keep their jobs, they lose, they are out…

2. Can we agree that these coaches are, for the most part, trying to win and be successful and will attempt to put the best players on the field?

3. Is it entitlement and some of these kids, and parents don’t like being told no, and that their kid is not good enough???

I hear so many stories about a kid, a situation, etc., and believe it or not, not every kid is a starter, or what they were recruited to to be…everything is a coaches problem, I see little self reflection…

For transparency my wife and both played D1 sports in college, understand the grind, our daughter is a 2025 Commit and know a bunch of kids and families who have kids that have played and are playing.

There is so little self accountability and awareness, everyone thinks their kid is a starter, it’s crazy, and everyone blames somebody else, we hear it in HS and Club…newsflash…not all the kids are unicorns, starters, or D1 players…stop being unrealistic…you are only hurting your kid. They need to know and understand their punching weight. Sometimes YOUR kid is just not as good as somebody else. It’s not always the coach. It’s ok…stop chasing the sweatshirt and focus on the right fit.

 

[sockma]

This is going to be an uncomfortable response and question…

1. Can we agree these coaches are coaching for their jobs, livelihoods, and for their families? They win, they keep their jobs, they lose, they are out…

2. Can we agree that these coaches are, for the most part, trying to win and be successful and will attempt to put the best players on the field?

3. Is it entitlement and some of these kids, and parents don’t like being told no, and that their kid is not good enough???

I hear so many stories about a kid, a situation, etc., and believe it or not, not every kid is a starter, or what they were recruited to to be…everything is a coaches problem, I see little self reflection…

For transparency my wife and both played D1 sports in college, understand the grind, our daughter is a 2025 Commit and know a bunch of kids and families who have kids that have played and are playing.

There is so little self accountability and awareness, everyone thinks their kid is a starter, it’s crazy, and everyone blames somebody else, we hear it in HS and Club…newsflash…not all the kids are unicorns, starters, or D1 players…stop being unrealistic…you are only hurting your kid. They need to know and understand their punching weight. Sometimes YOUR kid is just not as good as somebody else. It’s not always the coach. It’s ok…stop chasing the sweatshirt and focus on the right fit.

I understand your statements, but I'm not sure it relates to this topic. A coach can sit down with a player and clearly explain the situation to a player. That's not the problem here.

The issue here is: Does a coach have a right to be a jerk and abusive towards players/your daughter because they did not meet the coach's expectations?

When it happens to your daughter, would you say the following 3 things:
1. Your Coach has a right to be a jerk and abuse you because it's their livelihood
2. Your Coach has a right to be a jerk and abuse you because they need to win
3. Your Coach has a right to be a jerk and abuse you because I think you're probably being entitled when you're just not good enough.

 

[Fixture]

I find the College Recruiting topic on SoCal Soccer Forum the most useful as my daughter is going through this process, so I hope the original poster will provide some clarity. What started out as "unimaginable mental trauma" has now become an issue with "professionalism and basic humanity". I know the college recruiting process is rife with issues, getting feedback from those that have gone through it is greatly beneficial to who have yet to experience it.

 

[crush]

This is going to be an uncomfortable response and question…

1. Can we agree these coaches are coaching for their jobs, livelihoods, and for their families? They win, they keep their jobs, they lose, they are out…

2. Can we agree that these coaches are, for the most part, trying to win and be successful and will attempt to put the best players on the field?

3. Is it entitlement and some of these kids, and parents don’t like being told no, and that their kid is not good enough???

I hear so many stories about a kid, a situation, etc., and believe it or not, not every kid is a starter, or what they were recruited to to be…everything is a coaches problem, I see little self reflection…

For transparency my wife and both played D1 sports in college, understand the grind, our daughter is a 2025 Commit and know a bunch of kids and families who have kids that have played and are playing.

There is so little self accountability and awareness, everyone thinks their kid is a starter, it’s crazy, and everyone blames somebody else, we hear it in HS and Club…newsflash…not all the kids are unicorns, starters, or D1 players…stop being unrealistic…you are only hurting your kid. They need to know and understand their punching weight. Sometimes YOUR kid is just not as good as somebody else. It’s not always the coach. It’s ok…stop chasing the sweatshirt and focus on the right fit.

Speak your truth bro. Truth is uncomfortable for everyone at times. First off, the original poster is not talking about a promise a coach made to the player. I think as parents, we all want our children to be in a safe and healthy environment and treated with respect and humanely. The OP was talking about a "mental trauma" that happen and gave parents a heads up. No harm, no foul and many have probably PM the OP. Again, girls are not boys and each deal with mental abuse differently. I played college ball, and my coach was freaking amazing and treated me with respect. He was also tough on me but was not mentally abusive. OP never talked about a starting spot that was promised. I agree coaches have to win or their whacked and maybe that's a part of the problem. Lots of young adults are now on their own and "some" assholes take advantage of that mental issue being on their own for the first time. I agree many kids feel entitled to the promises the coach made to the player and her parents. The player I was sharing about did not come to camp in shape and did not follow coaches' orders and there are consequences for that. Grabbing her by the hair and telling to basically get the "F" out of the program is not how to teach, IMO. This is a college at Big U and the kids go to be taught, not screamed at and treated like shit because coach is pissed off and coach is stressed out because his prized recruit showed up out of shape. Sounds like to me coach made a mistake recruiting an 8th grader and there actually pissed off at themselves for picking wrong, MOO!

 

[socalkdg]

I would love to air it out on here but am concerned about crossing any legal boundaries. I will say that there were unforgivable, unethical, and just plain evil acts directed at my daughter and that the transfer portal numbers speak for themselves. I would not wish for anyone to be subject to what people in the program are experiencing right now.

Sorry to hear that. Was your daughter recruited by the previous coaching staff, or the new staff? I've heard of new coaching staff coming in and trying to blow out existing players so they can get their players into place. Hoping your daughter finds another school that she is happy with.

 

[Colorado Papa]

To end the speculation here is the story.

I share with genuine desire to shield others from at least one bad actor. I feel somewhat responsible for leading others to the same watering hole.... as we were fooled. It is a minefield out here.

My daughter is a 2023 that joined UF early last spring. Two months into training both of the midfielders they had brought in tore their ACL’s exactly one day apart. My daughter was one of them. She has had a good recovery with no complications at this point, but she is 9 months in and has not been cleared yet. Last week the team started its spring fitness testing and my daughter missed the mark the coach had set on the beep test. The coach pulled my daughter aside and informed her she was off the roster, sighting that she couldn’t let her standards be weakened.

For background, my daughter had earned a starting role per the coach before getting injured. She had some pedigree coming in and she is this coach's recruit. This is not about play time or coaches favorites; it is just about basic human decency. A role on the team must be re- earned and we get it. Being game fit takes well….playing. Spring is a great time to get there. While missing an arbitrary number on the beep test is regrettable, a reprimand and a remediation of lets say a week to retest would be the appropriate level of response. I think that is what you would find throughout college soccer, not considering a recovery off an ACL. In late November when my daughter had her post-season meeting there was no indication that she would not have the opportunity to earn a role on the team or that she should enter the transfer portal because there was no future at UF. It would have been a no-brainer to cut her loses and find a new home.

Once getting hurt my daughter saw just how disposable every player was to this coach. It started at the beginning of the season when all the Nike swag got handed out. The two injured players were not given as much as a T-shirt. They were told they had not earned anything (someone must have thrown a stink because they were given some items a few weeks after) Way to boost moral coach! During the last 9 months the coach did not once ask how my daughter was doing either physically or emotionally. We should have taken those two pieces of information and cut and run in December but my daughter is a fighter and a proven winner, she figured that she could not be ignored once she got back on the field.

Maybe there will be some of you who will see this through the eyes of the coach. “I have to win at any cost!”,” My livelihood is at risk!” “There is no room for the weak!”. "Maybe the coach had to free up some money."

We like to win like the next guy. My daughter never caused one problem for this coach and was loved by her team. She was literally thrown away just as she was about to finish recovery and move towards her full potential. There was only upside down the road. There is no universe where players/people should be treated this way.

My daughter is temporarily defeated but not broken. One week later she is finally able to talk about the reality of her situation and chart the course forward. If you have a kid at this level you know it is everything to them so I stand my statements of unimaginable mental and emotional trauma. Being told you are not good enough or you will never play for a team, that she could handle. Having your legs cut out from under you as you are just battling back from an ACL is whole other animal. Probably the most disgusting aspect of how she was handled by this program is that she could have been in the transfer portal right now if there was the least amount of transparency and decency. Instead she is on campus alienated from the one thing she has dedicated her life to.

If this sounds right to you so far then please go on and hate, we share different ideas on justice and moral decency. I believe schools should stand behind their athletes when they are injured in the game.

I hope you find this post useful. It would not be hard to figure out who my daughter is. I would never want my actions to hurt her and her dream but to be silent just seems wrong. I have posted the facts and it is up to God and the Universe to do with it what it will.

 

[crush]

To end the speculation here is the story.

I share with genuine desire to shield others from at least one bad actor. I feel somewhat responsible for leading others to the same watering hole.... as we were fooled. It is a minefield out here.

My daughter is a 2023 that joined UF early last spring. Two months into training both of the midfielders they had brought in tore their ACL’s exactly one day apart. My daughter was one of them. She has had a good recovery with no complications at this point, but she is 9 months in and has not been cleared yet. Last week the team started its spring fitness testing and my daughter missed the mark the coach had set on the beep test. The coach pulled my daughter aside and informed her she was off the roster, sighting that she couldn’t let her standards be weakened.

For background, my daughter had earned a starting role per the coach before getting injured. She had some pedigree coming in and she is this coach's recruit. This is not about play time or coaches favorites; it is just about basic human decency. A role on the team must be re- earned and we get it. Being game fit takes well….playing. Spring is a great time to get there. While missing an arbitrary number on the beep test is regrettable, a reprimand and a remediation of lets say a week to retest would be the appropriate level of response. I think that is what you would find throughout college soccer, not considering a recovery off an ACL. In late November when my daughter had her post-season meeting there was no indication that she would not have the opportunity to earn a role on the team or that she should enter the transfer portal because there was no future at UF. It would have been a no-brainer to cut her loses and find a new home.

Once getting hurt my daughter saw just how disposable every player was to this coach. It started at the beginning of the season when all the Nike swag got handed out. The two injured players were not given as much as a T-shirt. They were told they had not earned anything (someone must have thrown a stink because they were given some items a few weeks after) Way to boost moral coach! During the last 9 months the coach did not once ask how my daughter was doing either physically or emotionally. We should have taken those two pieces of information and cut and run in December but my daughter is a fighter and a proven winner, she figured that she could not be ignored once she got back on the field.

Maybe there will be some of you who will see this through the eyes of the coach. “I have to win at any cost!”,” My livelihood is at risk!” “There is no room for the weak!”. "Maybe the coach had to free up some money."

We like to win like the next guy. My daughter never caused one problem for this coach and was loved by her team. She was literally thrown away just as she was about to finish recovery and move towards her full potential. There was only upside down the road. There is no universe where players/people should be treated this way.

My daughter is temporarily defeated but not broken. One week later she is finally able to talk about the reality of her situation and chart the course forward. If you have a kid at this level you know it is everything to them so I stand my statements of unimaginable mental and emotional trauma. Being told you are not good enough or you will never play for a team, that she could handle. Having your legs cut out from under you as you are just battling back from an ACL is whole other animal. Probably the most disgusting aspect of how she was handled by this program is that she could have been in the transfer portal right now if there was the least amount of transparency and decency. Instead she is on campus alienated from the one thing she has dedicated her life to.

If this sounds right to you so far then please go on and hate, we share different ideas on justice and moral decency. I believe schools should stand behind their athletes when they are injured in the game.

I hope you find this post useful. It would not be hard to figure out who my daughter is. I would never want my actions to hurt her and her dream but to be silent just seems wrong. I have posted the facts and it is up to God and the Universe to do with it what it will.

Thanks for sharing. The "school" of hard knocks in girls' soccer is rough. Wow, cut from the roster after coming off an ACL. My heart aches for you, your family and your amazing dd. A top coach told me soccer is full of adversity and this will make her even stronger. I was also told soccer is not fair and neither are coaches. Sometimes coach has pressure to win and only 14 scholarships for 30+ players at Big U. FSU is in the State too so I'm sure that is added stress for the program. Win baby, win!!! U of F is big time program and it's win or get fired. My dd has a BFF GK playing professionally in Spain. She signed her first Pro contract and was so pumped up to play Pro ball. Contract was for only one year. In the first scrimmage, she jumped up for a ball and tore her ACL. Out for the season and in a foreign country (She's from Canada). The club was bummed out I hear because she was slated as top GK. This is Pro so take with a grain of salt and a nice drink. They took good care of her, surgery, rehab and many, "how are you doing girl." Coach was so pissed but not at her. Pissed at the curse of the turf. The club told her to get well and we will give you another contract for a do-over. That was cool. Tell you kid she will kick ass!!!

 

[Slobodan]

Well that sucks... and we were told Amato was a douche bag.

 

[Soccer43]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. We have a story too and really feel your pain and know how heart breaking this is. I know it is early and still processing it but take it as a blessing that she is getting the hell out of there because it would never have been a good experience. I’m so sick of hearing that this is the coaches livelihood and he needs to win. You can be a decent human and still protect your livelihood. This is our kid’s hopes and dreams and have worked their whole life to get there. Coaches can go get another job, these players never get that window back for their dream. Go find another career if the only way you can function is to be an abusive, inconsiderate ass. And no, I am not an entitled parent with unrealistic expectations. People need to stop blaming the player and family when the coach is an abusive jerk

 

[Colorado Papa]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. We have a story too and really feel your pain and know how heart breaking this is. I know it is early and still processing it but take it as a blessing that she is getting the hell out of there because it would never have been a good experience. I’m so sick of hearing that this is the coaches livelihood and he needs to win. You can be a decent human and still protect your livelihood. This is our kid’s hopes and dreams and have worked their whole life to get there. Coaches can go get another job, these players never get that window back for their dream. Go find another career if the only way you can function is to be an abusive, inconsiderate ass. And no, I am not an entitled parent with unrealistic expectations. People need to stop blaming the player and family when the coach is an abusive jerk

Well said!

 

[crush]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. We have a story too and really feel your pain and know how heart breaking this is. I know it is early and still processing it but take it as a blessing that she is getting the hell out of there because it would never have been a good experience. I’m so sick of hearing that this is the coaches livelihood and he needs to win. You can be a decent human and still protect your livelihood. This is our kid’s hopes and dreams and have worked their whole life to get there. Coaches can go get another job, these players never get that window back for their dream. Go find another career if the only way you can function is to be an abusive, inconsiderate ass. And no, I am not an entitled parent with unrealistic expectations. People need to stop blaming the player and family when the coach is an abusive jerk

 

[Carlsbad7]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. We have a story too and really feel your pain and know how heart breaking this is. I know it is early and still processing it but take it as a blessing that she is getting the hell out of there because it would never have been a good experience. I’m so sick of hearing that this is the coaches livelihood and he needs to win. You can be a decent human and still protect your livelihood. This is our kid’s hopes and dreams and have worked their whole life to get there. Coaches can go get another job, these players never get that window back for their dream. Go find another career if the only way you can function is to be an abusive, inconsiderate ass. And no, I am not an entitled parent with unrealistic expectations. People need to stop blaming the player and family when the coach is an abusive jerk

The problem with college and coaches is that player value is either 100% or 0%, there's no in between.

Professional clubs tend to look at players as a long-term development product. Even if a player doesn't work out they still have value. Coaches can wait for them to improve or sell/trade them off to another club.

For College coaches if a player is hurt or isn't working out there's no upside. Either they play and deliver or you convince them to leave and bring on a new player to replace them. To curb the abuse NCAA needs to put some protections around scholarships. Or maybe colleges should be forced to pay scholarships in cash up front for the entire 4 years. Right now Colleges hold all the cards and players are forced to jump when Coaches demand it.

Maybe if NWSL is able to start Academies and Colleges have to fight for top talent they'll treat them better.