New To This
- Thread starter Brian G
- Start date
zebrafish
SILVER ELITE
I'm going to answer this question seriously...
This isn't rocket science, but something about the game is different than the practice.
Suspect it is the pressure, intentional or unintentional, about the "game" being applied by you (as coach), the kid's parents, and/or the game environment (screaming/cheering/yelling parents on sideline). Probably the game doesn't seem fun to them. Or it seems scary for previous reasons. One thing that really helped me understand how a game sounds to a kid was to video some games and go back and listen to it. At the time I started doing this, I was coaching. It was horrifying! I couldn't control parents, but I cut the amount I said by 90%. Also, kids are masters at perceiving stress in others-- again, if pressure or game environment is stressful, this can make a 3 year old completely shut down. Some of this you can control, some you can't.
It could also be that 5 year olds are really a lot bigger, faster, and stronger than 3 year olds. Strange kids (on other team) are scarier than known kids (kids on her team).
All that being said, best thing to do is try to look at these components objectively. You may not be able to "fix" this right now. This is a three year old we're talking about here. They can't wrap their head around all this. Organized games are meaningless to the development of this age group (aside from destroying their desire to play soccer, perhaps). A kid doesn't really even begin to understand their role on a team developmentally until they are 7/8 years old (and in some cases, older than that).
Personally, I wouldn't apply pressure to play in the game. I would let the kid decide whether to play or not. If she doesn't want to play in games, no worries. Have her practice. Make it fun-- this is the reason she plays, right? I would encourage the kid/parents to back out of games (maybe complete this season and find another venue for playing). If the kid really likes soccer, take a break on playing formal games for a year. Do skills clinics or something. Go to the park and kick the ball around. But back out of the organized games. The kid just maybe isn't ready for it. And (in my humble opinion) formal team games are 100% meaningless at this age to learning the game.
This isn't rocket science, but something about the game is different than the practice.
Suspect it is the pressure, intentional or unintentional, about the "game" being applied by you (as coach), the kid's parents, and/or the game environment (screaming/cheering/yelling parents on sideline). Probably the game doesn't seem fun to them. Or it seems scary for previous reasons. One thing that really helped me understand how a game sounds to a kid was to video some games and go back and listen to it. At the time I started doing this, I was coaching. It was horrifying! I couldn't control parents, but I cut the amount I said by 90%. Also, kids are masters at perceiving stress in others-- again, if pressure or game environment is stressful, this can make a 3 year old completely shut down. Some of this you can control, some you can't.
It could also be that 5 year olds are really a lot bigger, faster, and stronger than 3 year olds. Strange kids (on other team) are scarier than known kids (kids on her team).
All that being said, best thing to do is try to look at these components objectively. You may not be able to "fix" this right now. This is a three year old we're talking about here. They can't wrap their head around all this. Organized games are meaningless to the development of this age group (aside from destroying their desire to play soccer, perhaps). A kid doesn't really even begin to understand their role on a team developmentally until they are 7/8 years old (and in some cases, older than that).
Personally, I wouldn't apply pressure to play in the game. I would let the kid decide whether to play or not. If she doesn't want to play in games, no worries. Have her practice. Make it fun-- this is the reason she plays, right? I would encourage the kid/parents to back out of games (maybe complete this season and find another venue for playing). If the kid really likes soccer, take a break on playing formal games for a year. Do skills clinics or something. Go to the park and kick the ball around. But back out of the organized games. The kid just maybe isn't ready for it. And (in my humble opinion) formal team games are 100% meaningless at this age to learning the game.
The difference between a 3 year old and 5 year old is a LOT.
Most 3 year olds are just starting preschool. Most 5 year olds are starting kindergarten.
Some kids don't even walk until 1.5 or 2 years old. So a 3 year old may only have been walking for 12-18 months.
Make it fun. Everything should be a silly game with a sill name at this age.
Most 3 year olds are just starting preschool. Most 5 year olds are starting kindergarten.
Some kids don't even walk until 1.5 or 2 years old. So a 3 year old may only have been walking for 12-18 months.
Make it fun. Everything should be a silly game with a sill name at this age.
A friend of mine had an amazing 4 year old on his rec team. The kid had amazing skills and vision to pass at that age. The following season he was coaching the kid again but the kid refused to play in games. He would sit in a lawn chair snacking on fruit and his granola bar. His parents were great and did not push him although you could sometimes tell how frustrated they were. The following season, with essentially the same players, the kid was killing it again and is now one of the best players in SoCal. If I told you his name, many of you would recognize him. My point is kids mature at different rates and go through phases. Be patient and continue to make it fun and I bet things will change in a few months (or next season).