Keeping up with the soccer Joneses

[lulu9155]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

 

[RandomSoccerFan]

Invest in a 529 instead. Any money spent on soccer in the hopes that there will be scholarship money that will make secondary education cheaper, might as well be set on fire. Any other benefits that you or he are seeking in soccer should be weighed much, much higher than any possibility of a meaningful scholarship at the school he wants to go to 9 years from now.

 

[Jamisfoes]

Club soccer is exactly about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s not about scholarships. It’s rich folks putting their kids in activities to boost their own ego. All you need is look at your club’s Facebook page come signing day and you will see the kind of schools recruiting your club. But keep in mind, most rich parents aren’t letting their kids go to crappy D1 schools, they are vain but not stupid.

 

[NewbieMama]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

I think it's def easy to feel like you have to do everything everyone else is doing to have success in club soccer but maybe take a step back and just evaluate how much you and your child are willing to invest in a very hard-to-attain dream... Maybe do what is within your means and time constraints but don't sacrifice everything.

I've seen kids that play and train non-stop in just soccer but they just don't have that "x" factor to get them noticed or make a strong impact in the game at the highest levels. There's so many parts of the game including athleticism, mentality/confidence, and of course technicality. Training will improve technicality and free play should improve confidence in the game but things like speed and size aren't going to change all that much.

Soccer parents want to train and play soccer 24/7...but multi-sport/cross training really helps with their athleticism and gives them a break from the pressures of club soccer. Also there's a lot you can do at home on your own at a young age that you can do without paying a trainer but it just requires planning, time, patience...

 

[dad4]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

Each college only gets 9.9 scholarships per year. Divided by 4, because 4 years to graduate.

So, your son's team is already larger than the total combined scholarship pool for UCLA, USC, UA, and ASU.

They are not all getting full rides.

 

[crush]

I feel like I am not doing enough.

It's never enough. Just wait until your boy turns 15. This is cut throat competition unlike any youth sport in America. I have been a part of sports for over 50 years. The Jones's seem to have control of soccer in many areas. Mr. Jones is known to buy into these clubs or just purchase the whole 9 yards or Mr. Jones gets a seat on the board. Mrs. Jones can work the Doc and build a relationship that way. You MUST donate and pay for privates Lulu. Forget 529, if you want your son battling the greats in youth soccer, get that checkbook out and learn to compete with the Joneses. I've been saying this for a long time. My dd went to her first college night when she was 11.

 

[Carlsbad7]

I don't have anything additional to add that others haven't already said. Soccer in the US is a way for rich parents to make their kids play and win against other rich parents kids.

But, I do really like watching Futsal. When players get good they can do amazing things. When teams gel by playing together the action gets even more impressive.

Some private coaching can help players get to the next level. But you need to keep in mind that the top players are just naturally talented. While your kid might go from 1 to 5 with a couple of months of private training others will go from 1 to 10 or 1 to 15 with the same amount of training. Is it really "worth" it? If the training is something your kid really enjoys then maybe. Otherwise you're just another rich parent throwing $$$ into the endless soccer pit so your rich kid can beat someone else's rich kid.

For boys there's MLS Next Acadamies which take the best of the best and grind them up to quickly find out who can play at the next level. Although it likely doesn't feel like it at the time washing out of and Academy at a young age might be a blessing in disguise. If you know that your kid won't play won't play at the highest level at a young age you won't waste your time and $$$ chasing a dream that will never happen.

 

[Carlsbad7]

To answer your questions more directly...

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

Yes, Socal has a very diverse and dense population. Because of this and the weather you can play sports year round against local competition. You wouldn't look for pro skiers or hockey players at the beach.

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

Top players look like men playing against boys when they're young.

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

No, you've missed nothing. The other parents are just eating up the marketing clubs are feeding them. Clubs dangle college scholarships in front of parents as a way to justify all the money spent on soccer.

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

Higher level clubs and higher level leagues will have more connections into colleges. More connections and experience with scholarships means their players will get more scholarships.

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

Yes, talent alone will only get players so far. Also different positions require different types of talent. Some positions take a lot of work to develop. Others lend themselves to natural ability (forwards). But either way it takes a lot of talent, soccer iq, dedication, and the right training to play at the highest levels.

 

[Larzby]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

You have a long, long, looooooooong time before you have to worry about any of your questions above, except #2. For #2, the answer is wait AT LEAST three years (but really, more like five years) and if your son at that time still LOVES soccer and can't imagine doing anything else, then you can start looking at the other four questions you pose above. Don't fall for the propaganda. Most of the stories you hear about "so and so's son got a scholarship to such and such University" neglect to mention that the value of the scholarship received is a small fraction of what the kid's wealthy parents paid in youth soccer costs. Youth athletics is, simply put, not a path to financing higher education. I know it's hard to believe since we've all been hit with so much propaganda for so many years. Feel free to dive in if you want, but as a parent of one college athlete and another who expressed no interest, trust me: it's much better for you and your kid if you DON'T fall for the propaganda. Monitor this board with that info in mind and circle back to this topic in 3 years. Until then let him have fun and take him out for extra touches yourself or with his friends any time he wants - especially on rainy days!

 

[Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

A scholarship isn't going to motivate your son through the hours of training and games necessary to be good enough to get in the conversation to play college ball. I would not make that a focus for him OR you. Foster a love for the game for him, and get him access to training. Futsal is great. Private or small group trainings with likeminded kids are also great. At 9, he should be focused on his foot skill, IMO. Don't worry about position at this point. Make him part of this process and include him on the "why" you are making certain training available to him. Make the right moves to the better leagues available to you when he's ready. Steer him away from toxic coaches. I can't stress the last part enough. After games and practices, focus on him being a good teammate and applaud that along with some of the nicer moves he might have made in the session. For example, scoring is great, but goals probably represent 1-2% of the touches in most games. Congratulate him on settling a ball out of the air, a good turn, or moving into space. Emphasize how that will help him at the next level he plays at, and how his training got him to make those advanced moves at a young age. Kids will dig that praise, and it elevates their thinking about the game.

Yes: if your boy plays on an MLS Next or ECNL team, he is more likely to have more eyeballs on him than if he plays EA, ECRL, NPL, etc. But to get to those top leagues, he needs to put in work. Even with all that work, full scholarships are hard to come by for boys and girls. Soccer, though, is a great way to get into schools where, based on grades alone, your boy might not have as great a chance. But those leagues are a few years away from where your boy is at right now. Chart out a course in pencil, but be ready to change it up with an eraser when different opportunities (positive or through setbacks) arise.

Finally, it isn't a linear process. Very few kids have a nice, clean progression to some of the better leagues. There are a lot of twists and turns. Just keep playing, grinding, and moving forward. That kind of resilience comes from a place that isn't motivated by academic money.

 

[lulu9155]

Invest in a 529 instead. Any money spent on soccer in the hopes that there will be scholarship money that will make secondary education cheaper, might as well be set on fire. Any other benefits that you or he are seeking in soccer should be weighed much, much higher than any possibility of a meaningful scholarship at the school he wants to go to 9 years from now.

So club soccer would also be a waste of money under this theory?

 

[Messi>CR7]

If you play golf, club soccer is a lot like buying a new driver or a putter for yourself. The ROI is next to zero for most. However, if you enjoy the game and can afford it , it’s all good.

There are only 9.9 scholarships to be shared among a men’s college soccer team with a typical roster size between 26 and 30. Only 5 of the (soon to be former) full-time Pac 12 members have men’s soccer. In comparison, all 12 members have a women’s program. In addition, men’s programs recruit more international kids than women’s.

Go look at the college commitments announced by the clubs. Many kids committed to schools for soccer where the general acceptance rate is >70% anyway. Do you want your kid to go to Springfield University (Homer Simpson’s alma mater) just so he can continue to play soccer?

Anyway, if you feel the pressure to keep up with the Jones, just keep in mind that R&R is equally important. Best of luck.

 

[RandomSoccerFan]

So club soccer would also be a waste of money under this theory?

Not at all. Choosing to pay club fees (and all the ancillaries we call can list) on the hopes that it will pay back in scholarship money is utterly foolish. Those that believe there is some merit to the marketing re: potential scholarships are what are known as "rubes".

Choosing to play (and pay for) any youth sports have any number of reasons that people find value in doing so.

 

[NorCalDad]

Quick side suggestion on private trainings. I'd try and find college players that are willing to run them. There are all kinds of yahoos out there that charge crazy amounts of money. College players can generally do the same drills at a fraction of the cost. There might be some really good trainers out there that have a fundamental understanding of technique that are worth it, but I think those are far and few in between.

 

[Socal-Soccer-Dad]

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

My kids are still young but talking with experienced older parents in the sport (some having sent their boys and girls to college on scholarships), all bets are off until puberty.

They could look like they're flying over the field vs their peers now but you never know how it'll all turn out until they're hitting puberty years.

Of course, some of them at 9 could be stars and continue to be stars... and go to Stanford or UCLA or whatever...
Some may not be highly touted now but could end up getting on an MLS academy later and then onto college... who knows?

But all indications are that it's really hard to know at 9... and more visible at 13-14 and at that point, you can decide to give it a go...

 

[watfly]

All great advice from everyone. #1 would be a 529 plan.

Just a few thoughts...I'd bet that less than half the 9 year old kids, whose parents are thinking about scholarships, will be playing soccer as there #1 sport as a senior in high school, if they're even playing soccer at all. Their are just too many variables between 9 and 18. The biggest variable being high school with other sports and other distractions, like a girlfriend or boyfriend. Of my son and his 4 closest friends that all played MLS Next, (as starters up until high school) as sophomores now, 2 play FB as #1 sport, 1 is golf, 1 is track and only one still plays MLS Next, but is completely burned out.

I've mentioned this before but if its a college sports scholarship that your after, have your kid play soccer until high school then switch to football. There are nearly 10x more D1 football scholarships available than soccer scholarships. Soccer players make great football players because the footwork and body control that they learn playing soccer can't be replicated playing youth football. Bonus playing football is the team gets far more support from admin, students and community than the soccer team.

If its just about having a better soccer player and I had to do it all over again, I would have my son play only futsal until he was 12 and some guesting for regular soccer tournaments. I'd take the money that I was saving not paying for club to supplement my 529.

At the end of the day your kids soccer career, is all about your kids own ability and passion, and not the team, club or league which is virtually meaningless. Never fall for the "pathway" sales pitch.

*All this having been said, your best odds of a scholarship are academic.

 

[focomoso]

It's been touched on, but the number one factor for a 9 year old is the pending puberty lottery. If your kid loves playing, support them where you can, but barring "the next Messi", until they hit puberty, there's no way to know the top of their potential - especially when it comes to the US College game which has a large emphasis on athletics and size.

After that, it's more on them than you. If they are motivated to put the time in, they'll ask to play more (futsal, privates, other leagues, ...). If not, don't push it because without that motivation, they aren't going to get to a high enough level to play D1 anyway.

My son was on a flight 1 team (highest level at the time) when he was 9. All the parents thought they were on the college track. Of those boys, only 2 are still even playing soccer. Some of the older boys that my son has played with who were legitimately strong players have opted not to play in college because the schools they got soccer offers from weren't as strong academically as the ones they got into without recruitment. Either the schools they got into are D3 or don't have a team (looking at you USC), or the team is too strong (looking at you Stanford). They'll try to walk on, but probably won't see the field in 4 years...

 

[focomoso]

*All this having been said, your best odds of a scholarship are academic.

We were at a Duke ID camp last month and one of the parents asked if they could combine soccer scholarships with academic scholarships and the coach laughed. "None of my players has ever had an academic scholarship. You don't get an academic scholarship at Duke unless you have a planet named after you...". It was a funny moment.

Need-based aid is different, though (but you still can't combine them at Duke. I know other schools will let you...).

 

[oh canada]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

on this site today for first time in years bc i posted an important story link in another thread and your post caught my eye. Several of my kids went the whole way through youth and college sports. Here's my advice for you and your 9yr old - spend your time and money with your child on things other than just sports. Go skiing on weekends, travel to places that don't involve soccer tournaments, surf, launch rockets together, set up a tent in the yard for an overnight this summer, try many sports throughout the year, read books together and read more, take them to their favorite music concerts, go see MJ the musical, eat family dinners at home. Relax. There is wayyyyy too much emphasis placed on training, juggling, competing, etc. at the young ages. Forget about everyone else - accept that parents are crazy and can't help themselves. Especially those that become team managers.

You MUST let your child be the driver. Don't force him to practice, don't force him to play. Ask if he wants to ____ (and not in that leading kinda way that parents like to do). If there is any pressure from you to make him play, he will either burn out or hold it against you later in life. The only kids that will go pro are the ones who are maniacally obsessed with practice and the game or have freakish athleticism. Also, if your child is very intelligent, let academics and learning be his time suck. I don't mean 4.0 gpa "smart" - 70% of high school students have a 4.0 or higher. I mean real intelligence, the kind where kids can learn languages like nothing or do very advanced math with ease or can read a book in two days or can memorize scientific theorems like us mortals know the alphabet. Those kids shouldn't bother with a relatively low paying game - their purpose and future is higher than kicking a ball around.

 

[Surf Zombie]

My son is 9 and plays on a flight 1 team and has for a few years. I feel like everyone around us on our team and even our other soccer friends are already looking towards college and scholarships and what they can do from now to make that more of a reality. So other boys will play futsal, play other indoor leagues, play on teams out together by some dads and enter other tournaments, play in Santa Ana teams, do private trainings during the week then do private group trainings and so on. And I feel like I am not doing enough.

1. Are college scholarships given to a lot of southern CA soccer male players more so than from other states?

2. How and when do you judge if it’s something attainable for your son?

3. Did I miss something along the way about preparing kids to get scholarships that these parents had?

4. Do boys playing on MLS next teams and ECNL only get scholarships and not the ones playing EA?

5. And if this is something you want for your kid to have a shot at do you need to do extra trainings etc.?

If you are chasing scholarship $ you will be wildly disappointed. Maybe you will break even. Maybe.

My D has played on a top 5 team in the quarter of the country we live in since U10. She’s been getting on a plane to go to tournaments since then. U10-U11 we were spending about $10k a year. U12, for “Pre-ECNL” is was about $12k and U13-U17 it’s been between $17.5k and $20k per year. That’s $110k to $120k roughly.

She just got her first D1 offer. $35k in athletic $ for a school that is $70k per year. I know several girls who are stronger players who got offers in the $25k range for similar schools.

The kicker, my D will get a better academic offer (slightly north of the $35k in athletic money) at the same school, so she will take that, since they can’t stack athletic and academic money. It’s one or the other.

I wouldn’t change a thing, because if she lived a different life we would have gone skiing every year or whatever. That said, my point is the idea of chasing $ is a losing proposition.