Let me see if I can get this back on track.
In Summary:
@Bananacorner asked what exactly is "coach bullying" and how do "we" soccer parents, players, coaches know what constitutes behavior that crosses the line from a tough, negative or sarcastic coaching style to "bullying." We then had a divergent quasi-off topic discussion apparently fueled by some morbid curiosity regarding requests for factual details because the original post set up the questions with a mistaken belief that a lawsuit had been filed.
@MWN provided links to some definitions of what constitutes bullying and links to various articles specifically addressing the coach/athlete dynamic in the context of "coach bullying."
@InTheValley argues that parents misuse the term "bullying" and make the claim too easily because those parents don't want to take responsibility for their own actions.
@toucan agrees and adds that parents have the power, not the coach.
@Nutmeg,
@Soccer43 and others find
@InTheValley's position unsatisfactory because it shifts the discussion from coaches to parents and avoids the main topic.
Moving Forward:
My first suggestion, let's try to
avoid the ad hominem attacks (I know I have).
@InTheValley and
@toucan,
I fundamentally agree that parents play an important role and have some power after the fact. They also have a duty to conduct a reasonable investigation/inquiry into the coaching style and tendencies to ensure their player is in the right situation. I also wholeheartedly agree that many parents are too far sensitive and misuse the term "bullying" to describe coach behavior that is simply tough or negative, but not intended to cause harm to those players.
Where I find your position unsatisfactory is placing too much focus on parents. Its almost akin to blaming the rape victim because she wore a short skirt in a bad part of town and went to the wrong bar. The argument that parents are to blame for putting their kids on teams staffed by bad coaches is relevant only to how might parents lower the odds of finding their kid on a team with a coach that victimizes certain players. But that isn't the question or the topic. However, if your response is that coaches that victimize and abuse kids are never responsible for their actions, rather its the parents because they should have known better, then OK, I disagree.
Can we agree on a definition of "bullying"?
I previously cited an article from changing the game "
Is your kid's coach a bully?" that had three elements:
- An intent to harm,
- A power imbalance
- Repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior.
I've also mentioned that the US Olympic Committee has adopted the SafeSport program and requires all NGBs (National Governing Bodies) for the Olympic sports, such as USSF, adopt and implement the SafeSport program. The SafeSport templates define bullying as follows:
Bullying (Safesport, 2015 definition)
Bullying is the use of coercion to obtain control over another person or to be habitually cruel to another person. Bullying involves an intentional, persistent or repeated pattern of committing or willfully tolerating physical and non-physical behaviors that are intended to cause fear, humiliation, or physical harm in an attempt to socially exclude, diminish, or isolate another person. Bullying can occur through written, verbal or electronically transmitted expression or by means of a physical act or gesture.
Bullying behavior is prohibited in any manner in connection with any Team USA sanctioned activities or events. Examples of bullying prohibited by this Policy include,without limitation physical behaviors, including punching, kicking or choking; and verbal and emotional behaviors, including, the use of electronic communications (i.e., “cyber bullying”), to harass, frighten, degrade, intimidate or humiliate. Bullying does not include group or team behaviors that are reasonably designed to establish normative team behaviors or promote team cohesion.
The SafeSport definition of bullying is more detailed and directly avoids the "power imbalance" element because the definition is broader and is intended to apply to athlete on athlete situations. It has basically 4 elements (see underlined text).
Can we all agree that the SafeSport definition of bullying is good and coaches that engage in behaviors should be drummed out of the club by the DOC after a reasonable investigation that validates the claims? If not, what is wrong with the SafeSport definition?