This is a great lesson for kids as they enter college. They are going to play with players who are 2, 3 or 4 years older than them-- and with experience playing at this level and style of play (assuming the same coach has been there). The more you can realistically look at the roster and where your player stands (you mentioned several national team players, and she was not one), or look at the stats from previous years (they are all on the team's websites) to see how much freshman played, or looking at the players at the position she plays and see if they are returning (easy example, if there is a returning goalie who played most of the minutes the previous year on a winning team and made all-league, your player is probably not going to play their first year), etc. to get a realistic preview of what to expect. Heck, if D1, how much money you are getting should serve as a signal to where your players stands-- someone getting a full scholarship versus someone getting a small fraction helps signal a pecking order. And also to ask players on the team about their experiences and the communication they received from their coach.
I also think it is important as a parent to have the right questions for your child before deciding on a school. If your daughter really wants to play a lot their first year, then going to a team that is not as high a level may be the right choice. Or if a coach rarely plays freshmen, then having that discussion with her (and most will say they are ok with not playing, but very different when it actually takes place for players that are used to being one of the best on their teams) so she walks in with realistic expectations. Our kids will always think they are ready and not plan for the alternative scenario, we should ask the right questions to ensure they consider not just their preferred outcome.
My daughter spoke with players on the team (players who played a lot as a freshman heard different communications from her coach than players who did not play much), so she had a pretty good idea about where she fit in on her team (and we knew who played the year before, where there were graduating players, etc.). Her coach is very open about where he sees players, and his actions have aligned with his words (I do get there are coaches who are not as honest, hence my recommendation to speak with current players). She is starting on her team as a freshman (D3).
Going back in time, it was pretty normal for players to go to college, not play much the 1st couple of years, and then contribute as a Jr or Sr. Our kids have different expectations that they should be playing right away, and when they don't, we see a lot of players moving on to a new school. In many of these cases, I believe the mistakes were not made in the 1st year at the school or on the field, but in the selection process and not finding the right school for them and their expectations.
Good luck to her, hope she keeps putting in the work and the opportunity will come.