Soccer Dad & Ref
SILVER ELITE
Shouldn't it be a good thing he said it in a room full of people? Now you have witnesses
Surf Players Being Discouraged from playing HS?
- Thread starter ecsoccermom
- Start date
Shouldn't it be a good thing he said it in a room full of people? Now you have witnesses
There were witnesses. When the parents brought this up the club asked the DOC about it, and he denied saying it. The cub decided the DOC's statement was sufficient and ALL of the parents must be lying. They backed the DOC; many people are not sure why they did this.
oh canada
GOLD
Because Surf always does this. Most of us old timers can remember them backing a coach years ago with an obvious drug issue, as just one example. There are a couple other clubs in SD county with honest and reputable execs and coaches who truly care about their players (and allow kids to play HS without repercussion) - one GA club to the north of Surf and an ECNL club to the far south. Though I don't have personal experience with either, I've heard plenty of good things about both.
If the GA club you are talking about is in The Village by the Sea, my daughter played for the girls DOC, and he was a large reason she left for greener pastures. If you think they are a good club, so be it. We had personal experience with the club and had a different experience than what you indicated (as did a lot of keepers as their evidence on rosters of other clubs).
GoldenGate
GOLD
Deza communicated his expectations seven months ago, clearly telling everyone he discouraged HS, playing HS would get in the way of his ability to get their child recruited, and kids ran the risk of getting passed over by other more committed kids. Go figure, that is exactly what happened.
Of course he isn't taking kids who played HS to the ECNL showcase. They inevitably picked up bad habits that takes more than a couple weeks to unlearn, their timing is way off with their teammates. It's hard and takes time to reincorporate kids into his system within a couple weeks when they've been gone playing boot ball for three months. Most kids come back from HS soccer banged up and worn out because they were often overworked on their HS teams, especially if they did well, which means an increased risk of injury at the showcase. He also needs to make decisions about who will and won't go weeks in advance because it isn't fair to lead kids on who were committed to his process and did what he asked, only to tell them never mind because your daughter who lacks the same level of commitment rolled in last week expecting all the benefits without any of the obligations, and pretending what he said seven months ago didn't happen. He also doesn't need kids who may not be ready to get back to playing his system screwing things up for the others who are trying to get recruited. In his opinion, its better to bring up a younger player whom he knows will make the right passes, be in the right positions, and do what he wants than the kid who just missed three months dribbling too much, passing too little, and whose timing is way off because she hasn't played with her teammates in months.
When you say he told kids he would not help them get recruited if they played HS, you are just lying. He did say it would get in the way of that, and that is exactly what happened. Those kids missed the ECNL showcase because they weren't as committed as the others, and he didn't want to have to deal with uncertainty about who would and wouldn't be ready to play when they came back from HS, or even when they would be back to start training again. If a kid chose HS, that was their decision and good for them, but claiming that a kid who played HS deserves a spot on the ECNL roster a few weeks after missing almost three months over kids who prioritized club over HS is just selfish clueless bs. And, honestly, the kids who played HS deserved punishment.
Life is about choices. He gave everyone options, he communicated to what would happen if they picked HS, and they chose HS over maximizing their kid's ability to get recruited for college. Why are you so mad? Why do you think a kid who was not as committed to club should get selected for the showcase over someone who was?
oh canada
GOLD
Noted. Wish your daughter the best.
Knew you would chime in. 2 things - 1) didn't waste time reading your post. 2) - go f yourself.
oh canada
GOLD
Eratosthenes: "The world is round."
Golden Gate: "No, it's flat, you stupid as+hole."
Zelensky: "We are not Nazi's, I'm actually Jewish, in fact."
Golden Gate: "No, you're not Jewish, you stupid di*k."
Putin: "I like this guy Golden Gate."
Carli Lloyd: "The USWNT was a toxic culture my last few years on the team."
Golden Gate: "No, it wasn't you stupid bi**h. I have personal knowledge of the entire situation and let me spend the next thirty minutes writing five run-on paragraphs about why I'm right and you're wrong."
Golden Gate (while looking in the mirror): "You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart..."
#ignorebutton
GoldenGate
GOLD
Yes, when people say stupid things, I tend to show up.
Why are you upset about someone who is trying to get kids into college when that isn't even your kid's path? He makes it clear to everyone that his job, his value proposition, is to help approximately 18 kids a year maximize their college potential. When you don't do what he wants, it not only negatively impacts the kid who isn't listening, but also the ones who are. It isn't just about you. When a kid commits early, he still wants them to play club because that player might be able to help get exposure for the ones who aren't. There are a hundred places your kid can play soccer, including at Surf, that don't care whether she plays in college, and aren't trying to get kids there. You keep trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. You're just a bitter negative fool like crush who throws tantrums when they don't get what they want regardless of how unreasonable or unrealistic.
Deza told you his expectations and what would happen, yet here you are seven months later upset that he followed through.
GoldenGate
GOLD
The only thing you said that was accurate was the run on sentences that I love they are really effective at conveying the patronizing tone that I'm going for.
If the expectations and consequences were made clear up front, then I don't see what there is to fuss about.
Families/Girls made a decision to play at Surf or not, and also to play high school or not, fully aware of the pros and cons of each pathway.
If Deza didn't do exactly what you say that he did, that would be immensely unfair to the kids who chose to forego either Surf or high school soccer when presented with the clear choices and consequences. Right?
Families/Girls made a decision to play at Surf or not, and also to play high school or not, fully aware of the pros and cons of each pathway.
If Deza didn't do exactly what you say that he did, that would be immensely unfair to the kids who chose to forego either Surf or high school soccer when presented with the clear choices and consequences. Right?
When the club was questioned as to the official Surf attitude towards HS soccer, the parents were told by the club that Surf is supportive of the HS soccer experience and knew that it was important to a large number of girls. The CLUB didn't have an issue with the girls playing HS and at least implied there would not be any repercussions. And of course, there were repercussions.
I am leaving out stories of what the gentleman did to other kids as they are not my stories to tell but they are not feel good stories about him. I know that a certain sub-set of parents will defend the Club and the DOC no matter what. I am sharing the information now as I said earlier in this post I would when the time was right. People are free to take their kid(s) wherever they want. I would not bring my kid here at this time due to the culture. Do what you want with that info.
Dam, that was funny.
GoldenGate
GOLD
Now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. You don't get to say that the coach and DOC told you seven months ago exactly what would happen if your kid played HS, yet Surf was supportive of playing HS so therefore your kid would get priority over others who didn't. The actual coach (and DOC) said exactly what would happen and, OMG, it did. So shocking. BTW Surf is supportive of playing HS, just not on the teams where getting recruited for college is the goal.
I love these super duper secret stories about Deza. I'll give you one. I once heard about a parent who complained their daughter wanted to go to a specific university, and the college coach was very interested, but Deza wouldn't recommend her there because he believed she was a bad fit. The parents were mad as hell at him for not advocating for their kid, because they paid good money. She ended up going there and transferred out after her freshman year. They refused to appreciate that Deza's ability to get all his recruited to the right schools depends on him not overselling or selling the wrong kids to programs, because then they lose respect. His ability to get her recruited to the right school was earned over many years by not doing the very thing they wanted him to do now, and although he was right. He gained more respect from that coach, and he also gained more respect from other parents.
People like them and you can't see past your own nose, but think it's all about you. You don't care that missing three months of club to play HS negatively impacts her teammates. You also completely miss the incredibly obvious point that he tried to do you a favor by telling you that you were in the wrong place and for that reason he didn't want your money. Instead, you ignored the warning and still stuck that fork right into light socket hoping food would come out.
I think a club can both be supportive of the high school experience while also giving extra opportunity to those who decide to forego it in order better represent the club and support similarly-minded teammates. Those things don't seem mutually exclusive to me.
And it only seems wrong or unfair if it was not made clear up front and people were surprised by the (admittedly unusual) consequences of their decisions.
silverback
SILVER
Bingo, hit the nail on the head
Besides the kids deserving punishment, what Golden Gate said is mostly correct. No one should be punished for choosing high school and in this case, no one was punished. Many of the players did choose high school soccer, including some national team players.
It would not make sense to take the kids who played high school soccer to the Texas showcase and play against tough Texas teams. They haven't been practicing together for a few months. The younger kids that chose to continue with the program during winter break were rewarded with playing up on the 05 team. They did a great job.
The language was not threatening but honestly explaining what the hurdles of playing high school soccer would create. The communication gives parents and players all the information to make an informed decision.
I'm a big proponent of high school soccer but I didn't expect my child to play the Texas showcase because she did choose high school. It gave other players in the club an opportunity and I support those players too. They made a sacrifice and they earned the spot for the TX showcase.
oh canada
GOLD
Agree that it's fair to not take kids to TX ECNL who played HS instead of doing Deza practices for 3 months.
But, HS soccer should not be "discouraged" by anyone at the club. The club should remain neutral and let families and players decide. It's a veiled threat that's a bunch of BS for Deza to say "it might affect my ability to get you recruited." Really? UCLA isn't going to be interested because you played three months with your classmates? That's a self-serving statement wrapped in ego. And, "you might get passed by a kid who doesn't play HS" is another self-serving threat that's BS.
I love all these parents who drink the club Kool Aid and criticize high school play when their kid hasn't played one minute of it. Is it an inferior product to high-level ECNL play? Sure. Do more injuries happen in HS than club? Unproven. Does your player's skill level drop off by playing and practicing at HS instead of the Polo Fields? Absolutely not. In fact, all three of my kids (boys and girl) got better from it - having to carry a team creates better players and leaders. Just ask Carli Lloyd.
While I will continue to encourage and support my child to play high school soccer. From watching high school soccer, I do understand the perspective he is sharing with his players. His perspective is correct. Playing high school does remove 3 months of good development for just fun soccer. It does create bad habits that require undoing. Everything Deza said is correct. It's his observations through years of interacting with players and we pay him for his knowledge and willingness to honestly share it. There's no kool aid or veiled threat. He could have been lazy and take the easy way out to take 3 months off but he didn't. He offered the girls who wanted the extra 3 months to develop and an opportunity to showcase their development.
If your child develops better by carrying a team, then high school soccer is the right choice for your child. If your child is a happier person for playing high school with friends, then absolutely choose high school.
If your would rather develop soccer skills at a high level for 3 months instead, then stay for the break program and away from high school soccer.
My point is, there are no veiled threats, just informed decisions. There is no right or wrong decision, just different paths for different people.
Carli Lloyd, while I appreciate her honesty and her point of view, may not be everyone's perspective.