Parent tackles AR


Welll most Soccer players in my area don’t have that liberal Marin county money to afford good referees..So let me tell you what I know

Refs saying they are not going to finish the game until they get paid at half time… Cash transactions on the field.

Being from the Bay Area I guess you can afford the good refs..
Given that you're victim blaming refs and whining about a few bucks, I'd say it's prudent of any ref to demand payment from you before you can dash.
I like the word "liberal".
It's very related to our soccer conversation.

Personally, I don't think there is a difference in quality of officiating between counties. Throughout my kids tournaments I've been in many different places and I can assure you referees are missing calls everywhere in the same way including the "liberal Marin county" (by the way, I am from East Bay).
But, In my opinion, it's up to clubs to make the difference in rising ugly situations in youth sport.
Working with parents and especially with coaches on what are the norms would help to bring those accidents to a very minimal. If a coach, before every single game, find two minutes go and talk to parents asking them remain calm when certain situation during the game can arise. And promise parents that every single case with bad officiating will be addressed and let them know the outcomes of it would really work.
And if a coach, before every single game, will go and ask parents to stay civil I am pretty sure coach himself/herself will be obligated to stay within the boundaries
Part of the problem with this is there are a group of coaches out there which are uncivil (I had one coach on a game I wasn't scheduled for, didn't take pay, and was just helping out mock me for a ball he disagreed went over the line...he even yelled out to his kid: did that go completely over the line; another went after an older AR for not being able to keep up with the last defender line; countless times have heard even good coaches arguing for handballs and for fouls). Coaches want to win. We've put a lot of pressure on them to win due to consequences from pro/rel. They are going to argue with the refs and sometimes that's going to get out of hand.

This isn't an easy problem to fix (otherwise it would be fixed). There are some refs out there that don't know how to control the game and these incidents happen when parents are concerned about player safety (and yes I have seen bad behavior from some refs towards's very rare...but I've seen it happen, particularly in the lower levels.). There are some coaches (including otherwise good coaches) that take it too far, especially when a win is needed and on the line. There are parents behaving badly out there too, and also that don't understand the laws of the game (my favorite anecdote: my father called for an offside call when my kid was playing U10 on a throw in despite my having asked him to shut it because yelling at the ref is part of the past time in the old country....the ref correctly embarrassed my dad by pointing out to him "no offside in a throw in sir" father did this despite having played semi-pro ball in the old country).


You missed one. At least in SoCal, particularly in coast, many of the referees are working class Latino stiffs. They did it to earn the extra (relatively tax free) cash and because if they worked a full shift it would be more profitable for the day than a regular weekend job. When I was reffing, my usual crew was a CR (my assigned mentor) who was a custodian during the week and who would give up watching her own kids to earn the cash (her sister would usually baby sit) and a guy who was an electrician.
What?!? You actually have held a job?
That would require a major mindset change by both players and refs. I watched some of a rugby match the other day and the ref was mic'd up. It was fascinating to hear how the ref was in constant communication with the players. My impression is that rugby refs see themselves as facilitators of the game, whereas soccer refs see themselves as judge of the game. There seems to be a mutual respect in rugby, not so much in soccer.
I was watching an Aussie rules game on ESPN and the umpire was mic'd as well and a player took something of a dive near the goal and the ref says, "Hey Bob, you make my job harder when you do that," and Bob goes, "Sorry ump, I slipped." It was a great moment. First, the umpire knows every player by name (for better or worse), but I thought that was a much better way to handle that than the very public "stern talking to" you see from soccer refs at the top levels. And by the way, it wasn't a crazy, obvious rolling around dive you see in soccer. No self-respecting footy player would do that. He took a mild hit and slipped. Got right up, apologized and got back to it.