My '21 keeper is done

It's been a rough go for my GK DD the past few weeks. Bad timing...couldn't be worse actually. Now that we are entering the adjustment phase of grief, I am able to post an update.

DD verbally committed to a D1 college (southwest area) 2.5 years ago (before sophomore year - she is now a Jr). Perfect school and program for her. Full ride. Fast forward to this fall...unexpected coaching change, new coach hired in Dec (from college in same conference). New coach verbally confirmed (multiple times including in person at a winter camp) that commitments would be honored. 2 weeks ago, DD received a text and brief phone call stating that the coach was withdrawing the offer. Reason given at the time was lame (not enough $ and over commitments from previous coach). We asked for more info and were told that there were too many GKs on the roster (5 total - 3 were transfers from other colleges after DD committed), and also that the AD was expecting a more competitive program and the new coach needed to focus $ on players that will advance the program. Of course there are now some new commits are 'following' the new coach. I digress...the end result is that my DD is fed up with the 'college soccer drama' and is devastated but is looking to continue playing college club soccer without the drama. Word from players still in the program is that the new coach is good but the culture and dynamic of the team my dd thought she would be a part of no longer exists. It's a different team.

The (hopefully) good news is that the college is still her #1 choice. The not so good news is now we are trying to afford it (good thing she has a 4.7 gpa and can get academic aid). We are trying not to calculate the thousands upon thousands of dollars spent pursuing what could/should have been a valuable scholarship and amazing college experience. You can't put a price tag on emotional health though, right?

I never thought it would end like this. The rejection my dd has dealt with over the past few weeks (relationships ending, sports suspended, school closures, no face-to-face contact with friends, and end to her college soccer dreams) has been traumatic, and her mental and emotional health has been shaken to her core. But we believe that every closed door allows a window to open. She is feeling the breeze and breathing in deeply to refresh her body, mind, soul and spirit. OK, some days, not so much, but those days are less and less often :) It is taking a LOT of effort to get through this, especially in isolation. The crazy thing is that, as she has connected with other players, she has learned that many of them are in the same boat for various reasons. Maybe it's just circumstantial, but it sounds like the politics, coaching changes, and demands of college soccer are starting to profoundly affect top quality players deciding not to pursue college soccer. Maybe that means that club soccer in college will be a magnet for high quality players that want to play great soccer without that intensity and drama of D1 (and other levels) soccer.

Thanks to everyone on this board - as parents of GKs, you know how challenging it is mentally and physically for our players. No matter what the outcome, everything my dd (and I) have learned in our journey from her beginnings with a small local club, to ECNL club, to HS, to college recruiting/commitment/withdrawal has shaped and prepared her for life. So here's to finding Joy in the Journey...wishing you and all your GK players God's protection and blessings in your journey both on and off the pitch! -K_K
 
Whew. It's rough times for everyone. My kid is in mourning over her senior year ending like this and not getting to finish her club season like she wanted. I feel bad for your daughter that her college recruitment process ended like that. I say to lots of younger club soccer parents that if I had known then what I know now about college soccer (particularly the recruitment piece) I would have steered mine a bit differently. College soccer is (with exceptions among a very small percentage) just pay-to-play at a more extreme price tag. The same ills that plague the youth soccer scene - a coaching carousel that doesn't stop, kick-ball style to win, poor-character coaches entrenched in some programs, good coaches can't afford to stay in other programs - exist in college as well. If your daughter is a B+ division 1 prospect, and you have enough money to pay 100% tuition, your kid can get a spot in lots of places. But if that same B+ talent needs scholarship money, you might as well be invisible. And the numbers of kids who quit soccer in college bear that out, too.

If your daughter is a 2021 grad, the story may not be over yet. A LOT of programs in still looking for keepers in this current 2020 class. I know because my '20 keeper is still getting calls, although she's already committed. I know of a couple power 5 D1's that were still looking for 2020 keepers in January. Of course, money is the catch. But D1 schools are not the end all anyway. She may find a great fit at an NAIA, D3, D2 program or junior college if she's interested in broadening her field. Some of the JC's have no qualms about throwing money out there to get a keeper. And we know about a kid who played club keeper at a big school and ended up getting a scholarship offer to transfer to a WCC school. So as long as she's playing somewhere, you never know. But if she's already decided to walk away from it altogether, I applaud her. Soccer is just a blink of an eye in the span of her life, and it sounds like she's already got a great parent in support behind her. The trials of playing GK surely have set her up for a level of toughness and perseverance that will aid her throughout life.

Good luck to your and your DD, and don't be a stranger around the forum.
 
Sorry to hear this MTrain. My older passed up a few DI offers from schools,that she wasn’t truly interested in, after the rug was pulled out from under her from the school she was hopeful. Put off by the whole process, she decided to focus on school instead. At the time , I remember feeling so pissed off by the process and hurt for my daughter. She’s now finishing her Junior yr of college. Killing it in the classroom. She’s played 3 years for the college club team. Played in a Co-Ed intermural league, volleyball, basketball and surfs!! OMG she’s had a blast. Her mom and I have had a blast seeing her thrive. Can’t ask for much more as a parent. Many of us club soccer families get caught up in what the end result is thought to be. I’ve learned that it still comes down to what feels right for the individual. Best wishes to all your kiddos that truly find their path.
 
It's been a rough go for my GK DD the past few weeks. Bad timing...couldn't be worse actually. Now that we are entering the adjustment phase of grief, I am able to post an update.

DD verbally committed to a D1 college (southwest area) 2.5 years ago (before sophomore year - she is now a Jr). Perfect school and program for her. Full ride. Fast forward to this fall...unexpected coaching change, new coach hired in Dec (from college in same conference). New coach verbally confirmed (multiple times including in person at a winter camp) that commitments would be honored. 2 weeks ago, DD received a text and brief phone call stating that the coach was withdrawing the offer. Reason given at the time was lame (not enough $ and over commitments from previous coach). We asked for more info and were told that there were too many GKs on the roster (5 total - 3 were transfers from other colleges after DD committed), and also that the AD was expecting a more competitive program and the new coach needed to focus $ on players that will advance the program. Of course there are now some new commits are 'following' the new coach. I digress...the end result is that my DD is fed up with the 'college soccer drama' and is devastated but is looking to continue playing college club soccer without the drama. Word from players still in the program is that the new coach is good but the culture and dynamic of the team my dd thought she would be a part of no longer exists. It's a different team.

The (hopefully) good news is that the college is still her #1 choice. The not so good news is now we are trying to afford it (good thing she has a 4.7 gpa and can get academic aid). We are trying not to calculate the thousands upon thousands of dollars spent pursuing what could/should have been a valuable scholarship and amazing college experience. You can't put a price tag on emotional health though, right?

I never thought it would end like this. The rejection my dd has dealt with over the past few weeks (relationships ending, sports suspended, school closures, no face-to-face contact with friends, and end to her college soccer dreams) has been traumatic, and her mental and emotional health has been shaken to her core. But we believe that every closed door allows a window to open. She is feeling the breeze and breathing in deeply to refresh her body, mind, soul and spirit. OK, some days, not so much, but those days are less and less often :) It is taking a LOT of effort to get through this, especially in isolation. The crazy thing is that, as she has connected with other players, she has learned that many of them are in the same boat for various reasons. Maybe it's just circumstantial, but it sounds like the politics, coaching changes, and demands of college soccer are starting to profoundly affect top quality players deciding not to pursue college soccer. Maybe that means that club soccer in college will be a magnet for high quality players that want to play great soccer without that intensity and drama of D1 (and other levels) soccer.

Thanks to everyone on this board - as parents of GKs, you know how challenging it is mentally and physically for our players. No matter what the outcome, everything my dd (and I) have learned in our journey from her beginnings with a small local club, to ECNL club, to HS, to college recruiting/commitment/withdrawal has shaped and prepared her for life. So here's to finding Joy in the Journey...wishing you and all your GK players God's protection and blessings in your journey both on and off the pitch! -K_K
this is such a thoughtful and valuable post, you should copy/paste it into the College recruiting thread as well. likely more eyeballs.
 
It's been a rough go for my GK DD the past few weeks. Bad timing...couldn't be worse actually. Now that we are entering the adjustment phase of grief, I am able to post an update.

DD verbally committed to a D1 college (southwest area) 2.5 years ago (before sophomore year - she is now a Jr). Perfect school and program for her. Full ride. Fast forward to this fall...unexpected coaching change, new coach hired in Dec (from college in same conference). New coach verbally confirmed (multiple times including in person at a winter camp) that commitments would be honored. 2 weeks ago, DD received a text and brief phone call stating that the coach was withdrawing the offer. Reason given at the time was lame (not enough $ and over commitments from previous coach). We asked for more info and were told that there were too many GKs on the roster (5 total - 3 were transfers from other colleges after DD committed), and also that the AD was expecting a more competitive program and the new coach needed to focus $ on players that will advance the program. Of course there are now some new commits are 'following' the new coach. I digress...the end result is that my DD is fed up with the 'college soccer drama' and is devastated but is looking to continue playing college club soccer without the drama. Word from players still in the program is that the new coach is good but the culture and dynamic of the team my dd thought she would be a part of no longer exists. It's a different team.

The (hopefully) good news is that the college is still her #1 choice. The not so good news is now we are trying to afford it (good thing she has a 4.7 gpa and can get academic aid). We are trying not to calculate the thousands upon thousands of dollars spent pursuing what could/should have been a valuable scholarship and amazing college experience. You can't put a price tag on emotional health though, right?

I never thought it would end like this. The rejection my dd has dealt with over the past few weeks (relationships ending, sports suspended, school closures, no face-to-face contact with friends, and end to her college soccer dreams) has been traumatic, and her mental and emotional health has been shaken to her core. But we believe that every closed door allows a window to open. She is feeling the breeze and breathing in deeply to refresh her body, mind, soul and spirit. OK, some days, not so much, but those days are less and less often :) It is taking a LOT of effort to get through this, especially in isolation. The crazy thing is that, as she has connected with other players, she has learned that many of them are in the same boat for various reasons. Maybe it's just circumstantial, but it sounds like the politics, coaching changes, and demands of college soccer are starting to profoundly affect top quality players deciding not to pursue college soccer. Maybe that means that club soccer in college will be a magnet for high quality players that want to play great soccer without that intensity and drama of D1 (and other levels) soccer.

Thanks to everyone on this board - as parents of GKs, you know how challenging it is mentally and physically for our players. No matter what the outcome, everything my dd (and I) have learned in our journey from her beginnings with a small local club, to ECNL club, to HS, to college recruiting/commitment/withdrawal has shaped and prepared her for life. So here's to finding Joy in the Journey...wishing you and all your GK players God's protection and blessings in your journey both on and off the pitch! -K_K
I apologize @Keeper_Keeper. My post was meant in response to yours. Sorry for your DD’s experience.
 
It's been a rough go for my GK DD the past few weeks. Bad timing...couldn't be worse actually. Now that we are entering the adjustment phase of grief, I am able to post an update.

DD verbally committed to a D1 college (southwest area) 2.5 years ago (before sophomore year - she is now a Jr). Perfect school and program for her. Full ride. Fast forward to this fall...unexpected coaching change, new coach hired in Dec (from college in same conference). New coach verbally confirmed (multiple times including in person at a winter camp) that commitments would be honored. 2 weeks ago, DD received a text and brief phone call stating that the coach was withdrawing the offer. Reason given at the time was lame (not enough $ and over commitments from previous coach). We asked for more info and were told that there were too many GKs on the roster (5 total - 3 were transfers from other colleges after DD committed), and also that the AD was expecting a more competitive program and the new coach needed to focus $ on players that will advance the program. Of course there are now some new commits are 'following' the new coach. I digress...the end result is that my DD is fed up with the 'college soccer drama' and is devastated but is looking to continue playing college club soccer without the drama. Word from players still in the program is that the new coach is good but the culture and dynamic of the team my dd thought she would be a part of no longer exists. It's a different team.

The (hopefully) good news is that the college is still her #1 choice. The not so good news is now we are trying to afford it (good thing she has a 4.7 gpa and can get academic aid). We are trying not to calculate the thousands upon thousands of dollars spent pursuing what could/should have been a valuable scholarship and amazing college experience. You can't put a price tag on emotional health though, right?

I never thought it would end like this. The rejection my dd has dealt with over the past few weeks (relationships ending, sports suspended, school closures, no face-to-face contact with friends, and end to her college soccer dreams) has been traumatic, and her mental and emotional health has been shaken to her core. But we believe that every closed door allows a window to open. She is feeling the breeze and breathing in deeply to refresh her body, mind, soul and spirit. OK, some days, not so much, but those days are less and less often :) It is taking a LOT of effort to get through this, especially in isolation. The crazy thing is that, as she has connected with other players, she has learned that many of them are in the same boat for various reasons. Maybe it's just circumstantial, but it sounds like the politics, coaching changes, and demands of college soccer are starting to profoundly affect top quality players deciding not to pursue college soccer. Maybe that means that club soccer in college will be a magnet for high quality players that want to play great soccer without that intensity and drama of D1 (and other levels) soccer.

Thanks to everyone on this board - as parents of GKs, you know how challenging it is mentally and physically for our players. No matter what the outcome, everything my dd (and I) have learned in our journey from her beginnings with a small local club, to ECNL club, to HS, to college recruiting/commitment/withdrawal has shaped and prepared her for life. So here's to finding Joy in the Journey...wishing you and all your GK players God's protection and blessings in your journey both on and off the pitch! -K_K
I wouldn't give up on it just yet, good goalkeepers always in demand and she has another year.
I could never understand verbal commitments anyway - in big scope of things they mean absolutely nothing except false hope for kids involved.
Coaches change, players change, programs change - a lot can change just in a single season, never mind in 2 years time.
 
I'm a firm believer that your player will end up exactly where they should be. Have two that ended up somewhere that we never expected for either one but are in exactly the right place at the end of the day. If she really wants to keep playing she should stay open and not close the door. She can apply to her current school but stay open to other offers that may come her way and you may be surprised on where she ends up.
 
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