How are you spoiling or not spoiling your kids?

B

blam

SILVER ELITE
How are you spoiling or not spoiling your kids?

Ways I am spoiling my kids:
1. Letting them have unlimited access to phones and games on Fridays-Saturdays-Sundays.
2. Unlimited access to technology and entertainment between Mon to Thurs as long as they spend 1-2 hours studying at night. (2 hours for high schooler, 1 hour for middle schooler)
3. Assigning very trivial house work eg. taking the garbage out (Contrast with what I had to do: I had to mop the floor every night for my mom.) - My wife doesn’t want them to do housework because it results in “low quality” so it ended up this way where they barely do any. They don't even have to clean the dishes.
4. Driving them to all their activities. (I used to have to bike or take the bus for my extracurricular activities. Sometimes I was able to get rides from my parents.)
5. Paying hundreds of dollars every month for their extra curricular activities (my parents paid almost nothing, and I had to maintain academic grades in order to sign up for these activities).


Ways I am not spoiling my kids
  1. Insisting that they do not sleep with their phones in the bedrooms.
  2. Requiring that they study at least 1-2 hours a day between Mon to Thurs
  3. Insisting that they score at least the average SAT score of a typical Harvard student else I am not paying for their college UNLESS they prove to me that they put in the work which they can easily do by showing me their study logs. (I feel this is a bit unreasonable but I also appreciate the effort and not the result).
  4. Not paying for soccer club fees UNLESS they show me that they put in the work.
  5. No TVs in the bedroom. (I had a TV in my room for a few years and found it to be a bad distraction)
  6. Requiring straight As for me to pay their phone bills. (Parents never made me do this but then they never spent any money like phone bills on me).

What are your stories? Do you think we are too hard on our kids or too soft? Do you think anything above is unreasonable?
 
blam said:
How are you spoiling or not spoiling your kids?

Ways I am spoiling my kids:
1. Letting them have unlimited access to phones and games on Fridays-Saturdays-Sundays.
2. Unlimited access to technology and entertainment between Mon to Thurs as long as they spend 1-2 hours studying at night. (2 hours for high schooler, 1 hour for middle schooler)
3. Assigning very trivial house work eg. taking the garbage out (Contrast with what I had to do: I had to mop the floor every night for my mom.) - My wife doesn’t want them to do housework because it results in “low quality” so it ended up this way where they barely do any. They don't even have to clean the dishes.
4. Driving them to all their activities. (I used to have to bike or take the bus for my extracurricular activities. Sometimes I was able to get rides from my parents.)
5. Paying hundreds of dollars every month for their extra curricular activities (my parents paid almost nothing, and I had to maintain academic grades in order to sign up for these activities).


Ways I am not spoiling my kids
  1. Insisting that they do not sleep with their phones in the bedrooms.
  2. Requiring that they study at least 1-2 hours a day between Mon to Thurs
  3. Insisting that they score at least the average SAT score of a typical Harvard student else I am not paying for their college UNLESS they prove to me that they put in the work which they can easily do by showing me their study logs. (I feel this is a bit unreasonable but I also appreciate the effort and not the result).
  4. Not paying for soccer club fees UNLESS they show me that they put in the work.
  5. No TVs in the bedroom. (I had a TV in my room for a few years and found it to be a bad distraction)
  6. Requiring straight As for me to pay their phone bills. (Parents never made me do this but then they never spent any money like phone bills on me).

What are your stories? Do you think we are too hard on our kids or too soft? Do you think anything above is unreasonable?
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If you're driving across country lines to practice or state lines to scrimmage or play I would say that's been generous or maybe crazy?.

I would rather see me kids earn stuff, set goals, work hard toward a objective,etc rather than just be given the silver spoon but nice to reward or treat them when appropriate.
 
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