What is the end goal?

Discussion in 'SoCalScene' started by blam, Dec 23, 2018.

  1. blam

    blam Bronze

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    What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving?

    Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?
     
  2. Soccerfan2

    Soccerfan2 Bronze

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    Have fun, enjoy being part of a team, have something positive to do with their time, keep fit, learn all the life lessons that come with playing a sport, have something to play for life and teach to others later on.
    My kids picked this sport, not me. I only require that they pick something.
     
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  3. Dargle

    Dargle Bronze

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    For almost everyone who visits this forum, everyone who plays with your child, and every kid you or your child will ever go to school with or see play, the end result in every sport they play will not be to make a single dime playing the sport. Even for the very, very small % of those kids who do end up going pro in any sport, including soccer, the odds that they will make the average salary listed above or more, are exceedingly small (maybe you know 1-2 kids who "make it" out of the thousands of kids you encounter while your kid grows up). Even for the very, very, very small % of those kids who will reach the average salary or above, the odds they will play more than a few seasons because of an injury or decline in performance are almost nil (for example, even if you know a baseball kid who was drafted and got a decent bonus, chances are they never made it from the minors to the majors before washing out). This is true even if your kid is playing and starting at an MLS Academy, given the very small % of MLS DA kids who are ever signed even to a USL contract, let alone a senior deal, and who stay long enough to reach an average salary. Given those odds, any parent who directs his or her child to a particular sport because of future earning potential is completely delusional. It makes paying all of that $ over the years for your child to play a particular sport because of the possibility of receiving a college scholarship look almost rational.

    So, why would anyone think the end goal was a career?
     
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  4. timbuck

    timbuck

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    Do soccer parents have the highest (and most unrealistic) expectations out of all sports parent?
    Not sure what it’s like today in other sports, but growing up in the Midwest-we played sports to play sports. The best soccer player went to the army. Nobody on the high school basketball team played in college. A few on the high school football team played Divisi9n 3 (at schools with populations smaller than our HS). One girl on the softball team played on a full ride at UofM. Lots of hockey players but none played in college or in minor leagues.
    It seems that on a soccer team, most parents think their kid is at least going to play in college. And the majority of those think that a scholarship is going to pay for school.
     
  5. jpeter

    jpeter Silver

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    To have a fun heathy hobby:
    The memories you make playing youth sports will last a lifetime. Kids will forget many of their school teachers for example, but the memory of scoring the winning goal or the PK's in a Championship final will always be remembered. The hotel stays, travel with the mate's to places they would not be going to always will me remembered.

    Being a teammate and team player:

    Playing sports helps develop kids to work together & learn leadership skills also.

    Working as a team to reach a common goal helps kids develop communication and problem solving skills that will benefit them on the field and off.

    Don't forget why kids like to play sports and try not to focus what you may expect out of them.

    Having no expectations or end goal in mind for the start, acutally makes thing better IMO: letting them find their own way, make mistakes, learn from them, grow, makes decisions is part of growing up. They will find there level regardless so best to let them make there own end goals and not have preconceived notions, see what happens.

    Don't forget the number 1 reason kids play sports is because they enjoy them and its fun. When it stops being fun they want to quit or don't give there best efforts. Don't put any unnecessary pressure on them to to perform up to a certain level that you expect or whatever just let them do their thing (s).

    Some people think youth sports is all about how many wins, trophies tournaments metals that you can accumulate but in reality most kids care less about winning and more about:

    Getting a good players coach that treats players with respect.
    Getting playing time, playing well as team, getting along and developing team chemisty. Trying there best & staying active.
     
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  6. ferbert

    ferbert Bronze

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    Very good column.
    It is very important to set and pursuit immediate, mid and long term goals. This mindset will bring you to the next level, regardless if you are at sports or professional environment.
    When the players are 6 years old or so, we all want them to become a pro players, that is the ultimate dream or goal. As they get close to the point where they will really have to decide if soccer might help them to step up on their lives, we realized that being on a MLS team isn't really what we expected for many years.
    I am witness of this example. (His lil brother plays at my team)
    A player who got scholarship offer to go UCLA, offer to go play at USA national team and offer to play MLS. This player picked to go MLS due to the parental pressure. Before long, this player was at the bench most of time and after a bit got injured. He finished his contract and MLS kicked him off. At the age of 23 he had to start all over in a community college, wasting 5 crucial years of his life.
    MLS career is too short and risky, player plays at the most 10 years and then they will have to start again somewhere else. Look Cienfiegos from galaxy, ended up as a 12 year old coach, or Donovan asking for a minute to play at the MX league. These two players mentioned avobe where the most revenant MLS players in the USA during the time.
    My best advise and hopefully my sons direction is to get a scholarship to go to college. This way players can continue playing at high level, while they are preparing theirselfs with a professional academic career.
    Of course, the fame, ego, and more artificial feelings might take you to pick MLS.
    Every case is different.
     
  7. TangoCity

    TangoCity Silver

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    To have a good time, make good friends and even better memories.
     
  8. RedCard

    RedCard Bronze

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    I just want my 13 year old twins to clean their rooms.....
     
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  9. MWN

    MWN Silver Elite

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    To get the f' off the computer games. My kid is some sort of Fortnite / Destiny 2 / Battlefield ///// savant and if left to his own devices would live off of Cactus Cooler, Hot Cheetos and Kraft Mac & Cheese. His best friends are 30 year old losers from Po'Dunk middle America where they worship him as some sort of demi-God. Seriously, they gift him Steam Bucks so he can buy games and join their little clans and lead their sorry asses to victory over other groups of 30 something losers.

    My hope is that he exercises, has friends that are not 2x his age, keeps at least a B average, isn't arrested and/or the FBI doesn't visit me. The kid has college coaches following him on the recruiting sites, but wants to be a professional gamer ... AHHHHHHH!

    End goal. Graduate without knocking up a girl and go to college, if he gets a partial scholarship to play keeper at his college, great. If not, that's ok too.
     
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  10. socalkdg

    socalkdg Silver

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    . As the father of two daughters I thought I was the only one with this type of goal. No boys. Make it to college. Everything else is a bonus. Keep up the good work keeping those boys busy and away from my daughters.
     
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  11. White Lightning

    White Lightning Bronze

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    As a current real estate broker and former college athlete (football & baseball), one thing I can tell you is that you can’t throw a rock anywhere in my office of 25+ agents and not hit a former athlete that competed at every level. It’s not a coincidence.

    The end game is to provide my kids a competitive environment that will teach them to communicate and work hard to achieve goals that will eventually make them successful at any chosen profession. Competition without participation trophies is absolutely worth every penny.

    Plus my daughter can’t hit a curveball, so the MLB is probably out of the question.
     
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  12. SoccerFan4Life

    SoccerFan4Life Silver

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    End Goal by age
    2-7: Next messi
    8-12: Make it to Academy
    12-15 - Flight 1 top team - starter
    15-17: Just watch you play before you call it quits and start the real world

    To be honest: The one thing that has come out of this for my kids is that they have learned to: 1. Be competitive, strong work ethics, great time mgmt (School & sports), and just stay fit. They have moved on to other sports but I always get compliments about their work ethic.

    Now that I am on with my 3rd child at age 9, I am just enjoying her grow and could care less of the scores/results.
    For the rest of the parents that just started focus on the following:
    1. Focus on training and player development at a young age
    2. Let them play different sports to see which one they really really love.
    3. It's ok to miss a practice if your kid is really tired.
    4. Let them have fun and you should also have fun. Dont get involved in the club soccer politics
    5. Buy a video camera and record your kids as soon you will have no youth sports once they move on to high school (Junior, Senior years) and college.
     
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  13. Overlap

    Overlap Silver

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    Every year this thought has crossed my mind, it's come up several times over the years on this board and now with my last DD aging out, I can say what my end goal was all along. When our oldest was 5-6, she had speed and endless energy, she needed an outlet because I could play outside with her for hours and she never got tired, she'd wear the dog out from running around! At that point in time AYSO was the answer however, there wasn't enough girls registered so she played with boys for her first 2 years, at U10 I was tired of watching Dad's that had no clue what they were doing so I volunteered to take classes and coach. I have to admit, I knew less about the game and had to become a student really fast. I coached her until U12, several kids that she knew had already left to play "club", I could tell she was needing more of a challenge and we decided to look into club at the end of the season, she ended up at our local club for her entire club career. It was endless hours of practice, privates, working with her in the off season and countless memories of early morning drives with her wrapped in a blanket in the front seat while I drank coffee on our sometimes hours long drive, sometimes we talked, laughed, had friends in the car, teammate and her little sister was usually in tow. As she got older we saw team mates come and team mates go as ECNL was a big draw for others, all the while, she wanted to stay with her team. I had to learn the college recruiting process, I started early and thought, "I can do this", after countless arguments about, "did you contact this coach", "did you follow up with that coach?" and our relationship getting strained, we hired someone to guide her through the process. She went on to play D3 college soccer in upstate NY, she wanted a balance and she received a substantial amount of merit money to make it exciting for mom & dad, for reference, she was a G98, just had her second year at college, is killing it with terrific grades, loves the school and had 2 really good seasons still playing the game she loves. Here's the second part of my end game - her little sister was always in tow as I mentioned earlier, (G00 for reference), she also stuck with our local club team, she got stuck with what I think was a bunch of crappy situations, the addition of DA, DA2, Age Matrix and parents buying into whatever was next, teams were diluted this year and while it was still fun, I could see first hand what's happening in the club circuit and not very hopeful things would end up as I hoped. Then, my oldest texts me asking if I have a "highlight" video of her little sister, just so happened I was working on it for the Thanksgiving and Las Vegas Players Showcase in the event she changed her mind about playing in college. She asks me for forward it to her, then tells the next day her coached asked if she plans on playing in college, I'm thinking, this could still actually happen! He asks her to make a visit in Oct, she goes, loves the school, offer is made and it takes a few weeks to get the financial portion as it's a D3 and they need transcripts. The formal offer shows up, I'm floored as it's far better than I ever expected, she's excited however, doesn't make the commit until just a few days ago. I'm beside myself, I always thought of somehow figuring out a way of getting all of those club fees back :rolleyes: and hopes they both would still have the joy of the game to continue on in college. There's no illusion of going pro however, they both became part of the 3% that go on to play at the collegiate level, they get a terrific education for a LOT less than a CA State school at a private liberal arts college where they will both excel....I don't think I could have ever hoped for a better end game with countless memories of spending all of my time with both of my DD's ;)
     
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  14. Multi Sport

    Multi Sport Silver Elite

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    What is it about athletes and real estate? My brother-in-law (former NFL) is doing great in real estate and my nephew (former pro soccer) is also crushing it. I know of two other former NFL players that are in real estate and are doing well too. Is it the competition and the challenge?
     
  15. watfly

    watfly Silver

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    Do we have to have an end goal for youth soccer? I just try to enjoy the ride because I have very little control over the end result. Plus I don't know how productive it is to plan out much farther than a year for soccer. Maybe I'll change my mind as my son gets older.
     
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  16. Woodwork

    Woodwork

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    I believe competitive sports can be part of the development of a whole person, the physical, the spiritual, and the intellectual. If I had a son, then recreational sports would probably be sufficient. There is still a gap in girls' sports where you have to seek out better competition.

    Also, the best thing in life is to see your kid crush other kids, see them driven before her, and to hear the lamentations of their parents.
     
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  17. Fact

    Fact Silver

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  18. Sheriff Joe

    Sheriff Joe

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    Looks like lying-fact has a man crush on multi.
     
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  19. Sheriff Joe

    Sheriff Joe

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    Put them together, 1 room is easier to clean than 2. That will teach em.
     
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  20. MakeAPlay

    MakeAPlay Silver Elite

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    For me it was about the peer group that she was playing with and the journey. Lots of great students playing high level women’s soccer. For her it has been and will always be about having fun and winning. A college scholarship and/or a chance to be a pro was/is secondary.

    Enjoy the ride it is over before you know it.
     
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