Play time

Desert619

SILVER
What are your thoughts on play time? My son is on the clubs third team. It's a brand new team and should be a devolpmental team. The coach started out with intentions of developing the players. Sold it as such and now is obsessed with wining. He yells at the kids with every mistake. My son has great practices but shuts down during the games. The coach plays him about 3 min a half and tears him apart during those 3 min. I know my son isn't the best player and needs work. But this is heartbreaking to me. They are playing the lowest presidio bracket. Update: my son is 6 a November 2009 kid.
 
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What are your thoughts on play time? My son is on the clubs third team. It's a brand new team and should be a devolpmental team. The coach started out with intentions of developing the players. Sold it as such and now is obsessed with wining. He yells at the kids with every mistake. My son has great practices but shuts down during the games. The coach plays him about 3 min a half and tears him apart during those 3 min. I know my son isn't the best player and needs work. But this is heartbreaking to me. They are playing the lowest presidio bracket.
You have to decide whether or not it's worth it to continue to play on this team. That's borderline abuse IMO. This age is a time in which passion for the game is created not kill the desire to play time.

Regardless if it is the top team or the 3rd team, at this age all kids should play
 
What are your thoughts on play time? My son is on the clubs third team. It's a brand new team and should be a devolpmental team. The coach started out with intentions of developing the players. Sold it as such and now is obsessed with wining. He yells at the kids with every mistake. My son has great practices but shuts down during the games. The coach plays him about 3 min a half and tears him apart during those 3 min. I know my son isn't the best player and needs work. But this is heartbreaking to me. They are playing the lowest presidio bracket.

You didn't say the age, but I assume it is under 10 or younger. If so, get him out of there. Look for a less-competitive environment - AYSO, futsal, indoor - where playing time is more regulated and fun is the underlying intent. He will develop faster and enjoy it more if he is mixed with other kids of similar ability run by a supportive coach.
 
First off I am sorry to hear this. I assume you are in San Diego because of Presidio?
Unfortunately and what I have noticed personally is that the third team coaches aren't really "developing" anyone. I had to make the painful decision myself to move my son when I saw the environment eroding his love for the game but more importantly his own personal confidence.
I think that was the hardest thing - to know as a parent it "wasn't right".
The advice to talk to the Coach, then the DOC is good. I always like to follow a chain of command. I can warn you though that unless there is some new enlightened level of coach of third teams out there that they won't care.
Best to cut bait. We waited, spoke to coach and DOC. We kept our son in the situation because we wanted to teach him that we honor our commitments and contracts. What we failed to see and I will never ever do again is that the clubs contract to our son wasn't being honored and we should have transferred him.
 
PS
Forgot to say- now my son is on a very low team, close to home, and he is the star. It's a silly team but they are 9, and they are having fun and he wants to go to practice. No they won't win any tourneys and maybe they will win a game or a handful but he doesn't hate soccer anymore and he has a smile.
When he gets more mature maybe we will dip our toes back into club but he wasn't ready and that's ok. It doesn't mean one day he won't be
 
First off I am sorry to hear this. I assume you are in San Diego because of Presidio?
Unfortunately and what I have noticed personally is that the third team coaches aren't really "developing" anyone. I had to make the painful decision myself to move my son when I saw the environment eroding his love for the game but more importantly his own personal confidence.
I think that was the hardest thing - to know as a parent it "wasn't right".
The advice to talk to the Coach, then the DOC is good. I always like to follow a chain of command. I can warn you though that unless there is some new enlightened level of coach of third teams out there that they won't care.
Best to cut bait. We waited, spoke to coach and DOC. We kept our son in the situation because we wanted to teach him that we honor our commitments and contracts. What we failed to see and I will never ever do again is that the clubs contract to our son wasn't being honored and we should have transferred him.

Good answer.
 
Thank you for your honest opinions! I thought I was going to get a lot of mean comments because I was just another parent upset about play time. The club has a policy about devolping skills at the younger ages. This coach is new to the club and new to coaching. I can't help but to feel he doesn't get the idea of the clubs coaching policy. Which is focus on skills and devolpment not wining. I did message the DOC and the director of boys. The DOC is a personal friend of mine and did respond that he understands why I'm upset and will talk to the coach. I will update you on the outcome.

At this point we are paid up and will finish the commitment. However I am moving on to plan B with a Rec league. The season does over lap so I will have to pick and choose what league/games when they overlap. Most likely I will pick the Rec league so he can build his confidence and have more touches. I'm not giving up on the competive side but I am giving up on this coach.
 
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Thank you for your honest opinions! I thought I was going to get a lot of mean comments because I was just another parent upset about play time. The club has a policy about devolping skills at the younger ages. This coach is new to the club and new to coaching. I can't help but to feel he doesn't get the idea of the clubs coaching policy. Which is focus on skills and devolpment not wining. I did message the DOC and the director of boys. The DOC is a personal friend of mine and did respond that he understands why I'm upset and will talk to the coach. I will update you on the outcome.

At this point we are paid up and will finish the commitment. However I am moving on to plan B with a Rec league. The season does over lap so I will have to pick and choose what league/games when they overlap. Most likely I will pick the Rec league so he can build his confidence and have more touches. I'm not giving up on the competive side but I am giving up on this coach.

Be careful, as a rec director and a 2009 club team coach I can tell you that you can get the rec league in a lot of trouble by playing in a fall rec league. It is all registered through calsouth now, so like it or not it is considered cheating to have competitive players playing in a rec league. I know it sounds silly, but now that they are all together it matters. Just keep that in mind.
 
Be careful, as a rec director and a 2009 club team coach I can tell you that you can get the rec league in a lot of trouble by playing in a fall rec league. It is all registered through calsouth now, so like it or not it is considered cheating to have competitive players playing in a rec league. I know it sounds silly, but now that they are all together it matters. Just keep that in mind.


I didn't know that! Thanks for the info i guess I won't be doing that then. It seems like my only hope is getting this resolved with the coach. Hopefully the doc can help me if not it looks like we are stuck accepting that he won't be playing this season. This is just not what we signed up for.
 
AYSO does not register with Cal-South. Any AYSO league or YMCA league should be fine to play on alongside a club team.
 
6?
shuts down?
heartbreaking?

key words. go play ayso. save money and have fun..... the lowest presidio bracket is equal to ayso quality.

he's 6.
 
Put him on an AYSO team. If he needs it, you can always find him a private coach.
But at the age of 6, just make sure he has fun.
A few things you can teach him on your own
1. Dribble with both feet
2. Stop the ball and start the ball.
3. 3 basic turns - inside cut, outside cut, pull back.
4. Kick with your laces.

Standing and hopping on one leg will help him with balance. Running with decent form will help with speed.
But don't make it feel like work. It should all be fun and games. Make up silly names for things to have him do.

Paid coaches at this age can be a bit too serious.
 
Great ideas and tips! He's certainly having fun. He enjoys practice and currently trains at the catalyst and he loves it. It's the games he wants no part of. This coach shot his confidence like you wouldn't believe. He has skills for a 6 year old he's just not that coordinated when it comes to running etc. come game time he shuts down. I asked him if he's ok with switching teams and he said no he loves his team. So I am looking for another option where he can play side by side with what we already committed to. This has been one of the worst years for the books and I've been around the soccer scene for years.

I picked this club for their focus on development. We just got unlucky and got a coach that's new to the club/soccer and had another focus. I'd hate to walk away from this club knowing they have a lot more to offer but if this coach keeps this team then I'm forced to walk away.
 
Yes get out of there ASAP. All the above advice is good.

But I'd like to add, the "C" & "D" teams at the big clubs are rarely a good option. I'm speaking from experience and close observations. Even if the club overall has good coaches and a good teaching philosophy, it rarely trickles down to the lower teams. The lower teams are often used to fund the elite programs where all the good training takes place. The lower teams often get the newer least experienced coaches (which you've just experienced), yet you still are paying premium club fees. And if your child is a bit behind, you could end up paying a lot of money just to see your kid sad and miserable on the bench. And if you complain up the chain, the directors and DoC are going to pay little mind to a disgruntled parent on a "C/D" team, especially if you've already paid and it's after the roster freeze.

Definitely at your child's age, I would go the AYSO route. But even once he gets older and becomes a stronger player, I would avoid the "C" and "D" teams at the big clubs unless you get a coach you really like. If you're playing at the "Bronze" level or equivalent, stay with a local club where you can keep travel time and costs down, and hopefully keep the playing time up. Once your child is able to play at a Silver/Silver Elite level, then maybe start looking at some of the bigger clubs and see if they have team & coach that fits to help him get to the next level. If not, stay local and supplement with Futsal/Private training.

Honestly, I think the "C" and "D" teams at the big clubs have done more harm to youth development than helped. I've seen so many young kids on those teams that should be playing AYSO/Rec/YMCA instead. But they get recruited by these club coaches to fill roster spots on "C", "D" teams, yet they're still too raw so they struggle to get playing time and eventually get completely burnt out playing soccer before they've even begun. A few years ago, there was a player on my daughter's team who only had played 1 month of YMCA soccer previously, very sweet and nice girl but clearly wasn't ready to play competitive yet. But our "C" team only had 6-7 players on the roster, so the coach was desperate to pickup players (another problem with these lower teams the clubs often form the teams and ask for commitments without even knowing if they actually will have a complete roster). So the coach ended up picking up 4-5 players from rec who had almost no experience which he dubbed his "projects". I don't put all the blame on that coach because it was the club that insisted on the creation of the team, but clearly he would have done those kids a better service if he simply told them to stay in rec for another year or so.

Unless there really is no other local option, stay far away from the "C", "D" teams at the big clubs even when your child is ready to make the leap back to competitive. I've heard very few success stories. Most clubs do not promote from within so even if you're a top player on a "C/D" team, they will keep you on that team so you can strengthen or maintain the win/loss record of the team for recruiting purposes. So at best you'll churn water and at worst, your child will get burnt out. Just not worth the risk. IMO, five years from now the bad rap and poor services of these lower teams will catch up to these clubs, and they'll either be massively reformed or extinct, and we'll see a new cycle of local/independent clubs rising again.
 
Before game #1 the coach did talk to me. The DOC did meet with him and explained that at this age they are only focused only on development. They review his coaching based on that not wins. The coach apologize to me he said he does see his mistakes and promised to correct them.
We have played 3 games so far and I have noticed he is finally playing. My son now likes going to his game. I don't feel like he has been accepted as part of the team but that's just me bothered by the way he was treated by his coach during the spring and summer season.
 
Well we are on his second year and a new coach but same club. My son is now on the 4th team and the coach has that "play what you earn" attitude. I mean they are 7/8 year olds and play the lowest bracket and are the 4th team but the new coach, again doesn't care about development. I guess it's the DOC way of running the club. I mean my son gets zero minutes in the first half a good 5 pity minutes in the second. Super pissed and I think I'm done with this club.
 
Every club that I am familiar with has a written policy that every player (U10 and under) will play at least 50 percent of each game. Check your parent agreement.

AYSO and futsal were good suggestions. The league season is almost over so I would look elsewhere. If you really want to play club find a small club where your son will be a priority. Don't worry about keeping your commitment to the team. Your child comes first.
 
I have a son the same age and it pains me to hear about your boy. The coach is going to ruin soccer for your him. Pull him out, put him in futsal, and let him play. It's about developing the love of the game and having a ball at your feet when you are 6 years old . Coaches like this should be called out because they are a detriment to the game. Find a more positive situation immediately.
 
What are your thoughts on play time? My son is on the clubs third team. It's a brand new team and should be a devolpmental team. The coach started out with intentions of developing the players. Sold it as such and now is obsessed with wining. He yells at the kids with every mistake. My son has great practices but shuts down during the games. The coach plays him about 3 min a half and tears him apart during those 3 min. I know my son isn't the best player and needs work. But this is heartbreaking to me. They are playing the lowest presidio bracket. Update: my son is 6 a November 2009 kid.

Go find a new coach and team. No reason to yell and scream at kids that young. A good coach will keep it fun along with teaching them the game.
 
What are your thoughts on play time? My son is on the clubs third team. It's a brand new team and should be a devolpmental team. The coach started out with intentions of developing the players. Sold it as such and now is obsessed with wining. He yells at the kids with every mistake. My son has great practices but shuts down during the games. The coach plays him about 3 min a half and tears him apart during those 3 min. I know my son isn't the best player and needs work. But this is heartbreaking to me. They are playing the lowest presidio bracket. Update: my son is 6 a November 2009 kid.
It’s time for you to tell the coach that he is failing as a coach and find a program that will work for your son.
 
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