Coach Bullying

Bananacorner

SILVER ELITE
A USSDA club has had a lawsuit brought against them for, "unlawful bullying and mental and psychological abuse of players" by coaches employed by the club. I understand they are citing Dr. Jennifer Fraser's work “Brain Scars – The Neuroscience of Coach Bullying and its Impact on the Adolescent Brain" as evidence that the coaches have done irreparable neurological damage to the players.
http://www.nays.org/sklive/features/childhood-bullying-the-scars-remain-forever/

Who determines when a coach goes too far? When is a coach "too tough" and when does aggressive coaching cross the line from motivating to destructive? And does it differ by kid? How is a coach to know where that line is to try and get the most out of their players?
 
A USSDA club has had a lawsuit brought against them for, "unlawful bullying and mental and psychological abuse of players" by coaches employed by the club. I understand they are citing Dr. Jennifer Fraser's work “Brain Scars – The Neuroscience of Coach Bullying and its Impact on the Adolescent Brain" as evidence that the coaches have done irreparable neurological damage to the players.
http://www.nays.org/sklive/features/childhood-bullying-the-scars-remain-forever/

Who determines when a coach goes too far? When is a coach "too tough" and when does aggressive coaching cross the line from motivating to destructive? And does it differ by kid? How is a coach to know where that line is to try and get the most out of their players?

Which club?
 
The USSDA is a USSF program. The USSF should be adhering to the SafeSport program and those coaches should have SafeSport certificates (especially those assigned to USSDA teams).

As a general rule, a coach goes too far when the coach uses negative motivation techniques that are inappropriate for the age group and gender. Bullying in coaching is generally words/actions that are repeatedly demeaning, threatening or aggressive towards a player with an intent to harm the player physically or emotionally and where an imbalance of power exists.

The recommended escalations path is: File a complaint with SafeSport. If unresolved, seek legal action.

How is a coach to know? A coach should do the following:
1. Register and take the SafeSport courses, get the activation code from your program.
2. Read the plethora of resources at https://www.positivecoach.org/
3. Understand the age and gender differences in your team. What will be perceived as bullying at the U10 level will not be perceived at the U18 level. A boys U17 team can be treated differently than a girls U17 team.

Its really not that hard. If a coach is half-way intelligent they will figure out fairly quickly that "negative coaching" tends to not work nearly as well as "positive coaching."
 
Dr. Fraser’s PhD is in comparative literature, which makes her less qualified than Dr. Seuss.

The irony of lawsuits like this is that we’ll see fewer good coaches as a result. Good coaches have enough problems dealing with the likes of @Control Freak. Now imagine they start getting sued by a control freak who can’t admit his daughter isn’t crying because the coach is hard on her; she’s crying because daddy is disappointed in her again and she thinks he’ll be even more disappointed if she admits she doesn’t even want to play anymore. We’re going to be left with idiots who don’t realize coaching isn’t worth the headache, plus Baker because his club brings in a ton of revenue and presumably can afford insurance for this sort of thing.

I would never send my kid to Baker. But can you really say that hurting little Bella’s feelings and perhaps realigning some of her neurons isn’t outweighed by the overall benefit of his, er, coaching style, which has helped get more girls get college scholarships or into first tier academic institutions than almost anyone else in the planet?
 
Dr. Fraser’s PhD is in comparative literature, which makes her less qualified than Dr. Seuss.

The irony of lawsuits like this is that we’ll see fewer good coaches as a result. Good coaches have enough problems dealing with the likes of @Control Freak. Now imagine they start getting sued by a control freak who can’t admit his daughter isn’t crying because the coach is hard on her; she’s crying because daddy is disappointed in her again and she thinks he’ll be even more disappointed if she admits she doesn’t even want to play anymore. We’re going to be left with idiots who don’t realize coaching isn’t worth the headache, plus Baker because his club brings in a ton of revenue and presumably can afford insurance for this sort of thing.

I would never send my kid to Baker. But can you really say that hurting little Bella’s feelings and perhaps realigning some of her neurons isn’t outweighed by the overall benefit of his, er, coaching style, which has helped get more girls get college scholarships or into first tier academic institutions than almost anyone else in the planet?

Dr Suess dropped out of Oxford, so Dr. Fraser is a bit more qualified. I found the article cited as wholly lacking and a summary of conclusory statements without support, typical of weak journalism. Here is a better article with some footnotes. https://www.edutopia.org/blog/what-neuroscience-reveals-bullying-by-educators-jennifer-fraser

One of the problems that I see is that kids are not one solution fits all subjects. Different kids have different psyches, and high-performing competitive kids tend to have much thicker skins than the majority of their classmates. This is not to say that coaching styles that rely on demeaning and abusive verbal taunts should be condoned. Rather, coaches should strive to get the best out of their athletes, which the vast majority of the time means that taking a more positive versus negative approach will work better.

Parents also have different psyches, some more abusive to their kids and others are not. Those parents that tend to have demeaning and abusive bully parenting techniques, tend to support coaches and educators that adhere to the same philosophies. In short, this style of coaching will be around for years to come because there's a market for it.
 
Dr. Fraser’s PhD is in comparative literature, which makes her less qualified than Dr. Seuss.

The irony of lawsuits like this is that we’ll see fewer good coaches as a result. Good coaches have enough problems dealing with the likes of @Control Freak. Now imagine they start getting sued by a control freak who can’t admit his daughter isn’t crying because the coach is hard on her; she’s crying because daddy is disappointed in her again and she thinks he’ll be even more disappointed if she admits she doesn’t even want to play anymore. We’re going to be left with idiots who don’t realize coaching isn’t worth the headache, plus Baker because his club brings in a ton of revenue and presumably can afford insurance for this sort of thing.

I would never send my kid to Baker. But can you really say that hurting little Bella’s feelings and perhaps realigning some of her neurons isn’t outweighed by the overall benefit of his, er, coaching style, which has helped get more girls get college scholarships or into first tier academic institutions than almost anyone else in the planet?
Totally agree with In the Valley! Same goes with my kid's AP teacher compared to Baker. They push cuz they expect to get the best result out of their student. Life isn't easy and if you keep trying to soften every step for your kid, the real world will be very difficult! I wish all teams got the same Coaches on the sideline as Baker does. He obviously knows how to get his players to the next level. The best part of playing the Baker teams in any showcase is the opportunity for my kid to step up their game and get looked at by some top notch coaches!
 
Multiple researchers in different relationship settings have demonstrated the value of positive coaching/feedback.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...n/201208/the-most-dangerous-word-in-the-world

Marcial Losada (for corporate teams), John Gottman (for marriages) and Barbara Frederickson all come up with the same basic conclusion, that positive communication/feedback should be provided at a 5:1 ratio to negative feedback for optimal performance.

Even if your kid has thick skin, positivity leads to better performance. Take a look at MWN's link to the Positive Coaching Alliance. It's really not that difficult to be positive and to have high expectations and get great performances.
 
Totally agree with In the Valley! Same goes with my kid's AP teacher compared to Baker. They push cuz they expect to get the best result out of their student. Life isn't easy and if you keep trying to soften every step for your kid, the real world will be very difficult! I wish all teams got the same Coaches on the sideline as Baker does. He obviously knows how to get his players to the next level. The best part of playing the Baker teams in any showcase is the opportunity for my kid to step up their game and get looked at by some top notch coaches!

I think its important to understand the difference between "negative" coaching v. being an A-Hole bully coach who uses taunts and demeaning statements intended to emotionally break down a player.

Negative: (Intent is to instruct
"Breanna, for the 3rd time time, get wide and push up"
"What are you thinking!!!"
"Bobby, you can't sit on your line on those 1 on 1's, get out and get aggressive."

Bully Style: (Intent is to demean for no purpose other than to hurt)
"Hey dumbass, how many times to I need to tell you to push your fat ass up the field and get wide."
"Are you an idiot?"
"Bobby, grow an f'ing pair and challenge, unless you want to be moved to the Girls U8 team."

Positive Style:
"Breanna, I like how you are making yourself available , but, this is our midfielders area of responsibility, we need you to provide width and push up so we can switch the field and move the defender out of the area."
"Brush it off!"
"Bobby, I liked your starting position and stance, next time step up and steal that ground earlier like you did in practice."

As mentioned above, the magic ratio is 5:1 for youth and as they get older and more competitive the ratio drops, but there really is no legitimate defense for youth coaches to be A-Hole Bullies.
 
I'm not going to mention the club, these are unproven allegations, and the details (which coach yelled at which kid and how sucky was that kid) isn't public, and even if it was, I don't think it is necessary to the discussion (but sure, it is interesting). All the comments are on the mark, because we all know this happens every day at 100s of clubs. The point isn't who is in trouble this time, it is whether this is a "real" issue or not. And if it is, then how do other coaches/clubs keep out of trouble. And for parents and coaches the question is, is bullying or even just negative coaching table stakes to play the game or can kids be competitive without this? Some make the case that it shouldn't be and there is no evidence to support this type of approach, whereas others are saying, "look at Baker." I myself know that there are very successful coaches whose whole career is based on this style of negative combined with bully coaching, and they will defend it to the grave as the secret to their success.

If/when the case becomes public, I will pass it along, but for now, its just a lawsuit. Could get laughed out of court for all I know.
 
I'm not going to mention the club ... If/when the case becomes public, I will pass it along, but for now, its just a lawsuit. Could get laughed out of court for all I know.

If its a "lawsuit" then the claims have moved from demand letters to a formal complaint and has been field with the Court, lawsuits are "public records."
 
This "lawsuit for bullying has been filed" story has the whiff of fake news to me. ...
There is no legal cause of action for "bullying," whether by a coach or anyone else. The cause of action would have to be for assault, battery, or more tenuously, for intentional infliction of emotional distress. ... I would love to see the allegations of the pleadings.

Yes and no. To the extent this is a USSDA club, it is sanctioned by the USSF and subject to the US Olympic Committee rules and regulations. The USSF mandates USSDA clubs and coaches adhere to its policies and procedures and adopt various SafeSport related policies (anti-harassment, sexual abuse, anti-bullying, etc.). More likely than not, any claims of bullying or harassment would also have a basis in contract law to the extent the player is a direct beneficiary or 3rd party beneficiary of the policy. I could also see some creative fraud and harassment claims being made based on State and Federal law (education and/or workplace harassment laws). Lastly, we don't know what State this alleged lawsuit has been filed in. There are some states with anti-bullying laws that may provide a statutory basis beyond common law tort theories.
 
I think its important to understand the difference between "negative" coaching v. being an A-Hole bully coach who uses taunts and demeaning statements intended to emotionally break down a player.

Negative: (Intent is to instruct
"Breanna, for the 3rd time time, get wide and push up"
"What are you thinking!!!"
"Bobby, you can't sit on your line on those 1 on 1's, get out and get aggressive."

Bully Style: (Intent is to demean for no purpose other than to hurt)
"Hey dumbass, how many times to I need to tell you to push your fat ass up the field and get wide."
"Are you an idiot?"
"Bobby, grow an f'ing pair and challenge, unless you want to be moved to the Girls U8 team."

Positive Style:
"Breanna, I like how you are making yourself available , but, this is our midfielders area of responsibility, we need you to provide width and push up so we can switch the field and move the defender out of the area."
"Brush it off!"
"Bobby, I liked your starting position and stance, next time step up and steal that ground earlier like you did in practice."

As mentioned above, the magic ratio is 5:1 for youth and as they get older and more competitive the ratio drops, but there really is no legitimate defense for youth coaches to be A-Hole Bullies.

Hyperbole aside (briefly), I agree with what you’re saying. That said, I don’t think a dispute over whether a parent’s perception that a coach’s behavior falls under the “bullying” vs. “negative” category, or meets a 5:1 ratio, has any business being litigated in the courts.

I don’t have a PhD in comparative literature, but it seems to me that a parent has an absolute obligation to step in and remove their daughter from the situation long before it might cause permanent neurological damage or justify a lawsuit, and the fact that they didn’t makes me think the allegations are highly exaggerated or concocted after the fact by a crazy soccer dad when things didn’t work out. A parent is much better positioned than any coach to evaluate their daughter’s sensitivity, how their child reacts to negative coaching, and also their subjective determination whether particular conduct constituted bullying or just 1:5 (or less) negative coaching. Even assuming what they allege is true, which I doubt, it means they either sat idly by or failed to pay any attention while their daughter was subjected to ongoing verbal abuse sufficient to cause permanent neurological damage. Perhaps some self reflection is in order, rather than a lawsuit for money damages.
 
There is no legal cause of action for "bullying," whether by a coach or anyone else. The cause of action would have to be for assault, battery, or more tenuously, for intentional infliction of emotional distress. A battery requires some kind of physical contact. An assault requires putting a person (a player in this instance) in reasonable apprehension of physical harm. This is an unlikely thing to happen, but imaginable in the context of high emotions.

Intentional infliction of emotional distress requires outrageous conduct taken with the specific intent to cause a player serious emotional distress. I cannot imagine a coach intentionally trying to cause a player emotional distress. As unseemly as it might be, I doubt that screaming or berating qualifies. I would love to see the allegations of the pleadings.

I agree!! Sounds like someone with an agenda making sh*t up to start a thread. Love the claim that it's only a lawsuit right now so need to keep it private. Sounds to me like a few people on this board have never seen the inside of a courtroom....or better yet, all the fun stuff that leading up to it. If indeed a lawsuit had been filed, not only would it already be public but plaintiffs (assuming it's the parents) would be shredded before they ever got on the stand. Most rational people (prospective jurors) would find that the parents carry a larger burden than the defendants in this case. Excuse me Mr. White, what where you doing for 12 months while Mr. Green was "bullying" your child? Ignoring it? Did you ask about it? Did you remove your child from that environment? Oh, I see. So you believe that Mr. Green has a higher degree of responsibility for the well being of YOUR child than you do. Thank you for the clarification.
 
I'm not going to mention the club, these are unproven allegations, and the details (which coach yelled at which kid and how sucky was that kid) isn't public, and even if it was, I don't think it is necessary to the discussion (but sure, it is interesting). All the comments are on the mark, because we all know this happens every day at 100s of clubs. The point isn't who is in trouble this time, it is whether this is a "real" issue or not. And if it is, then how do other coaches/clubs keep out of trouble. And for parents and coaches the question is, is bullying or even just negative coaching table stakes to play the game or can kids be competitive without this? Some make the case that it shouldn't be and there is no evidence to support this type of approach, whereas others are saying, "look at Baker." I myself know that there are very successful coaches whose whole career is based on this style of negative combined with bully coaching, and they will defend it to the grave as the secret to their success.

If/when the case becomes public, I will pass it along, but for now, its just a lawsuit. Could get laughed out of court for all I know.

If it's a lawsuit, it's already public.

Which club?
 
All the pressure, I really want all of you to like me, so I'm going to tell you the club and the coaches, at least one who was put on temporary leave, and all the information that I was told in confidence about this club, even though I shouldn't because you are all pressuring me and telling me I'm lying, and I HAVE to prove it to you!!! NOT
Whatever its called -- lawsuit or filing or formal complaint or lickmyass letter --it isn't public yet, and I'm not going to tell you who it is, so deal with it.
 
All the pressure, I really want all of you to like me, so I'm going to tell you the club and the coaches, at least one who was put on temporary leave, and all the information that I was told in confidence about this club, even though I shouldn't because you are all pressuring me and telling me I'm lying, and I HAVE to prove it to you!!! NOT
Whatever its called -- lawsuit or filing or formal complaint or lickmyass letter --it isn't public yet, and I'm not going to tell you who it is, so deal with it.

How did you find out about it?
 
A USSDA club has had a lawsuit brought against them for, "unlawful bullying and mental and psychological abuse of players" by coaches employed by the club. I understand they are citing Dr. Jennifer Fraser's work “Brain Scars – The Neuroscience of Coach Bullying and its Impact on the Adolescent Brain" as evidence that the coaches have done irreparable neurological damage to the players.
http://www.nays.org/sklive/features/childhood-bullying-the-scars-remain-forever/

Who determines when a coach goes too far? When is a coach "too tough" and when does aggressive coaching cross the line from motivating to destructive? And does it differ by kid? How is a coach to know where that line is to try and get the most out of their players?
It's Arsenal FC.
 
Back
Top